Monday 31 August 2009

Broken Trust As Main Reason For A Divorce

People get divorced for many reasons. One of the most common has to do with broken trust.

If the reason that you are in the situation where your spouse is going to divorce because you have been unfaithful there are things that you should and shouldn't do to help. If there is something that you did that is the problem, don't tell them that you can change or try to talk them into believing it, make the change. If you seriously want to know how to stop a divorce start with accepting responsibility.

Actions speak louder than words. If it is something that is a matter of trust that you have hurt, don't do it again. In fact don't do anything that will give your spouse any reason to question your faithfulness. If you want your partner to love you and trust you, you have to prove that you are worthy of trust again. It will take time and hopefully you have not burned them so much that they will never trust you. If you have broken trust, the truth is you don't deserve to be trusted.
It is the effort to be faithful that will assure them that you are changing. Don't deny that you have betrayed their trust and don't try to justify it. Don't get mad because they don't trust you and don't argue about it. If you messed up, own up and take responsibility.

There may be situations where the one you love has been guilty of breaking trust and has been guilty of infidelity. Think of how you would want them to give you another chance. If you feel that you would be it very well may be that they deserve one as well. Put yourself in their shoes and treat them the way you would want to be treated. Try to understand why this happened. It very well may be that it can be resolved. Many times, however, it can not be.

Ask how to stop a divorce by going to friends who have been in your shoes and been through a divorce or from other sources where they have been trained in how to deal with these situations. If your relationship is important at all, it is well worth trying to find help before breaking up is the only option. Try to find the best relationship advice you can.

Be ready for depression to come because of what the two of you are going through. It isn't easy to deal with this and you may need some kind of therapy to help you cope and understand what is happening. Love relationships can be great but they can also bring a great deal of stress when there is broken trust involved. If you want to know how to stop a divorce, seek as much help as possible. You don't have to do it alone.



Find more advice in The Magic Of Making Up

Sunday 30 August 2009

VIDEO - The Gregory Mantell Show -- Getting Over A Breakup

Pamela Wells has 29 rules for getting over a breakup. She's author of the new novel "The Heartbreakers." Plus, family therapist Dr. James Walton and life coach / radio host Suzannah Galland.

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Friday 28 August 2009

Can You And Your Ex Get Back Together

If you truly want to get back together with your ex, you have to do a bit of soul searching. You must be totally honest with yourself. You have to decide if you and your ex get back together it will truly make you happy, and you won't wind up down the same road that caused the breakup in the first place. It's always easy after a breakup to only think of the good times. It's important that you try to be completely objective and think of both the good and bad times.

In reality, there are a few relationships that are unworthy of saving. If you and your ex spent more time fighting than you did doing something good and fun, then perhaps you should consider moving on. If your ex was physically or verbally abusive, it probably wasn't a healthy relationship. If the relationship overall was a good one, the following should help you and your ex get back together.

Pestering and pushing your ex isn't a good idea. If you try to constantly get in touch with your ex; whether its by phone, email, text message, or stalking them you're going to do more harm than good. They will see this as a sign of desperation. This could actually push them further away than bring them closer to you.

Don't argue, beg, or plead with your ex about your past relationship. It's easy when you and your mind are all alone. Your mind manifests all sorts of “wrongs” that you may have done. Even when your ex broke up with you they may have gave you reasons why. Now, you're probably beating yourself up over them. You probably wish you had never done those things. The past is the past. This is the present.

If you get it in your mind that the relationship is currently over. You can't go back in time, though you probably wish you could. Concentrate on what is going on now. The only thing worse than obsessively contacting your ex is to beg or plead with them. Make promises how you'll change, etc...This won't help you and your ex get back together at all.

If you back off, give them some time, and live your life, you'll be doing yourself a big favor in more ways than one. You'll probably become more desirable to your ex, because you're allowing them to think about you and miss you. You'll also be helping yourself to live a happier, more fulfilling life too.



To find out more check The Magic Of Making Up

Thursday 27 August 2009

How To Get My Ex Back With A Confident Attitude

Although a breakup with a boyfriend or with a girlfriend can be really depressing, it does not need to mean that the relationship is over. Even if the breakup should suddenly leave you feeling confusion and loneliness, you may still feel really eager to heal the wounds and jump right back in to that relationship with your ex. If you are asking yourself "How can I get my ex back?", then there are some things you need to know. If you learn how to react following a break up, and you become aware of how not to strain the relationship even further, then getting ex back will be easier than ever.

It can seem hard to keep up a cheerful attitude throughout your day following a breakup, but it is believed by relationship experts that an optimistic and confident attitude can go a long way. Here are some of the ways that a confident attitude can answer the question "how can I get my ex back?"

Keep your confidence - If you are asking "how can I get my ex back?", then you should remain confident. Rather than going around feeling gloomy, try to find ways that you can keep yourself occupied and happy. Keep the depression out of your demeanor. Allow your ex boyfriend or girlfriend to know that you are strong and that you are more than capable of handling such an emotional situation, and also that you are capable of surviving on your own as well.

Remain socially active - If getting your ex back is your primary focus, surround yourself with well wishers, positive attitudes and good friends. Show your ex that people appreciate you, and that they love having you around. As more people begin to feel good about your presence in their lives, your ex will begin to see you in a completely new light. He or she will realize that yes, you are a good person that they simply cannot afford to let go off. This is one of the best ways to let your ex notice you in a new light.

Maintain a good appearance - Another solution to "How can I get my ex back?" is not to let your appearance reflect your situation. You need to pay attention to every detail of your looks, including your clothes, your make up, your hair, your stride, your shoes and even your voice. It can be hard to act happy or to take care of yourself following a bad breakup, but this is one of the best ways that you can let your ex know that you are doing just fine, and do not need to beg for his or her sympathy.

You are going to get back together like adults who are mature and responsible if you are going to get back together at all.


Read more advice and tips in The Magic Of Making Up

Wednesday 26 August 2009

Get Ex Girlfriend Back By Showing Her You’re Desirable And Available

Do you want to get ex girlfriend back? In three quarters of break ups, women are the ones who call it quits. As you are probably aware by this time in your life, women are irrational creatures. They don’t always say or do what is in their best interest. Often, within days of a break up, a woman is ready to get back together. But, she’s embarrassed that she made a scene and won’t tell you that she’d like to reconcile. Unless you make a move, you are at a stalemate with the situation being that you are broken up. So, it is up to you to get ex girlfriend back.

To get ex girlfriend back, you have to pursue a two pronged approach. The first thing you have to do is show her that you are desirable. The second thing is to show her you are available and you want her back.

If there was a core reason for the break up, you need to address that. For instance, when John and Mary first started going out, he took her to plays and concerts because she really enjoyed the arts. As they got more settled in their relationship, dates increasingly revolved around his passion for sports. In fact, after Mary called the relationship off, John realized that they hadn’t done an arts event in nearly four months.

John realized that in order to get ex girlfriend back, he had to show her the fun parts that she had been missing from the relationship.

John didn’t bombard Mary with calls and text messages immediately. He gave her her space. But a couple weeks after the break up, he casually mentioned that he had two tickets to the symphony and asked whether she would like to go “just as friends.”

Of course, Mary jumped at the chance to do something she liked with the man she was still in love with. John and Mary went to the concert and then he took her to a romantic restaurant where he bought the best bottle of wine on the menu. Mary was blown away by the “new” John and started hinting that she wouldn’t mind restarting the relationship.

At this point, the ball was in John’s court. He now had the upper hand to define how they were going to get back together. Get ex girlfriend back meant getting her on his terms.

He told Mary that he had enjoyed the evening and he looked forward to more just like it. But he also enjoyed sports and hoped that if they got back together she would be willing to learn more about offside and fouls.

Because she was in a great mood, she agreed. The new terms for going forward with the relationship had been set and everyone was happy.

Remember, Mary broke up with John in a fit of pique. But she didn’t really want to end the relationship. John handled everything just right in realizing what was lacking, fixing it, and then proceeding under a new set of rules.

And, that is how John went about get ex girlfriend back.



More advice and relationship tips in The Magic Of Making Up

Tuesday 25 August 2009

What To Look For In A Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back Ebook

Ebooks are great because you can instantly download them and either read them from your computer or print them out. You don’t have to be embarrassed by buying them in a store with a clerk asking what kind of guy are you if you need to get your ex girlfriend back? Ebook also allows you to find information on a topic that isn’t readily available in print form.

First of all, any get your ex girlfriend back ebook should offer you hope that it is possible. One of the ways this is done is to show you documented case studies of people who have actually gotten back together with their ex’s after using the tips and techniques in the resource. These are known in the ebook world as “testimonials.”

Secondly, you need to know whether there’s more to the course of action than “work on yourself for a month.” Most of the Get your ex girlfriend back ebook out there say that you shouldn’t contact your ex for 30 days and use that time to work on yourself. While that may be good information, it is hardly a system that justifies your shelling out $50 to learn. I just told it to you!

You want to make sure that your ebook will be readable on a Mac if you use one of those instead of a PC. Generally, if the book is delivered in PDF format, it is readable on all computers.

Find out whether your get your ex girlfriend back ebook author will allow you to ask him questions before you buy. Having this level of customer support will assure you that the book is genuine.

Also, you should find out whether there is a money back guarantee if the system shown in the ebook doesn’t work. You don’t want to be shelling out your hard earned money for some modern day “medicine man’s” song and dance. You want the system you buy to really work.
In the short term $50 is a lot of money. You could send your ex a bouquet of flowers for that. You could take a new girl out on a good first date for that.

In the long term, however, $50 is a drop in the bucket if it will allow you and your soul mate to reconcile.

But, while some get your ex back ebooks do cost this much or more, the one I recommend is not that much money. You can get The Magic of Making Up for just $37. It has all of the features I talked about – hope that the system really does work, testimonials, a complete course of action that doesn’t boil down to a single sentence, readability on all computer systems, and pre and post purchase author support.

I highly recommend the Magic of Making Up as your get your ex girlfriend back ebook.

Monday 24 August 2009

VIDEO - The Gregory Mantell Show -- How To Save Your Relationship

Relationship coach Carol Allen has four signs you're about to break up. Plus, advice on how to keep your marriage or any relationship happy.

Sunday 23 August 2009

How To Stop Divorce And Save Marriage

If you want to stop divorce, you have to convince the person what wants to divorce you to give the relationship another try. This isn’t always possible, but it’s absolutely necessary if you have a chance of stopping a divorce. A divorce can be stopped at virtually any stage—before it’s filed or just before it needs the final paperwork. The earlier you stop a divorce, the more likely it is that the divorce won’t be restarted, at least not anytime soon.

So to stop a divorce, you must convince the person to give the relationship another chance. If you have been begging the other person to give you another try or pleading for them to get back together with you, stop now. This might seem counterproductive, as if now that the person has less resistance it will make it easier for them to divorce you. But your pleading probably wasn’t doing anything but convincing them that divorce is a good idea anyway. Who wants to be around someone who is behaving that way?

If you can start acting more mature and behave in a more pleasant manner, it might surprise the other person and help stop divorce. Explain that you really don’t want the divorce and you want another chance in a calm way. The person already knows this so you screaming or carrying on won’t help your chances. Just make it clear that you’re hurt and very sad, and you really want another chance. You might be surprised how the other person reacts when you change your behavior.

You can also show a mature side of yourself that the other person might not have seen over the last several weeks and suggest marital or couples counseling to stop divorce. Counseling has worked for million of couples and your relationship could benefit from it, too. If you can get the other person to agree to couples counseling, then you have precious time before they file for or attempt to finalize a divorce to convince them to give you and the relationship another chance.

During counseling you’ll have the opportunity to show the person why they fell in love with you. You can remind them why you’re together in the first place. And if you can show honest effort in wanting to deal with the problems that come up during the counseling—and many probably will—that might be enough to convince the other person not only to stop divorce temporarily, but permanently.

When you succeed and stop divorce, you must remember that the person was about to divorce you and it would be easy enough for them to change his or her mind and file for divorce later. Having already thought about divorce and maybe even having gone far enough as to file for divorce at one time makes the decision to file again easier. So be aware of the state of your relationship, and perhaps continue counseling. It’s easier to stop divorce temporarily than to have a good relationship for the long term.



Saturday 22 August 2009

Can I Get My Ex To Love Me Again

Getting your ex to fall in love with you all over again can be a challenge. The truth is that there are reasons that he or she called it off. If you can figure out what the reasons are, you have a good chance to win love back.

If you need to win love back because the other person couldn’t trust you anymore, you will have to proceed slowly. If you messed up and fooled around with someone else, you have to prove that you can be loyal again.
First, you must be certain that you want your ex back. What is going to keep you from straying again? Could it be that the reason you fooled around is because you weren’t 100 percent sure you wanted your ex? If this is the case, are you now sure that you want the relationship to go forward?

If you are sure, then you need to apologize. Don’t think that this will get you very far when it comes to win love back, but it is a necessary first step.

Then, you must give your ex time to heal. Don’t push him or her to resolve the situation. During this time, you don’t want to play any head games that might give your ex the feeling that you can’t be trusted. You probably shouldn’t date other people during this time. You should be humble.

Be a great friend to your ex. Do the things that made her or him fall in love with you in the first place. If your ex still has feelings for you, being a good friend can help pave over the infidelity.

But there are reasons besides cheating that a person dumps their lover. For instance, they may be bored with the relationship. In this case, if you want to win love back, you have to spice things up.

When your ex was first attracted to you, you were probably not complacent in the dating game. You planned each date carefully, dressed up for the events, and brought little gifts to him or her from time to time. As the relationship developed, you may have gotten sloppy about it.

If you think the reason you are now in the position where you need to win love back is that you let the relationship get boring, try spicing things up. If you meet up again “just as friends” do something different and exciting. Go out for fondue or other “interesting” food. Go to a concert with music that she likes. Don’t just sit around the house watching football or American Idol all of the time.

If your ex is bored with you, win love back by becoming more interesting in your personal life as well. Take a course or join up with an interesting group. Start skydiving. Show your ex that you can be a lot of fun.

The final reason that I’m going to discuss here about why a break up happens is that you were just “too into” your ex. He or she didn’t have any room to breathe. They may still like you. Heck, they may still love you, but they didn’t find any room for themselves in the relationship.
If this is the case, you have to give your ex some space. The worst thing you can do is send them 100 text messages a day or call crying at 3:00 a.m. asking why the break up happened. You win love back by backing off. When you see your ex, be casual. Don’t be needy.

There are, of course, many other reasons why your ex could have broken up with you. When you analyze why the break up happened, you can use the space thereafter to win love back by making the necessary changes.

You won’t win love back by continuing in your old habits. But you should know that getting back together is possible.



Finding more in The Magic Of Making Up

Friday 21 August 2009

How To Make A Rebound Relationship To Work In Your Favor

If you have broken up with the love of your life and she is in a rebound relationship, how do you get her back?

A rebound relationship is one where she is dating someone else to get over you. Rebound relationships keep people from having to deal with the emotions of breaking up. They’re used to help people move on from a real love.

And that’s the key to getting your ex back. She’s in a rebound relationship to deal with losing you.

It does not matter why she lost you. It doesn’t matter if it is your fault or hers. It doesn’t even matter who actually called the relationship off. What matters is that you have a real love.
Because virtually all relationships founded on real love can be saved.

If she’s in a rebound relationship, she will be focusing on what is wrong with your relationship. If you were a “good guy” she’ll probably be hanging out with a “bad boy.” If you were into philosophy, he’ll be watching Monday Night Football. Or, vice versa.

The fact that she is actually focusing on the differences in your styles is actually good for you for two reasons. Her attention is still focused on you even when she’s with the new guy. And, it gives you a chance to see what she’s looking for.

If she’s with someone as different from you as possible, it means that she was missing something in your relationship. You can use the time she’s with rebound man to improve yourself.

Let the rebound relationship run its course. Because, as she spends time with the new guy, she’ll start to see the flaws in him. After a month or so with rebound man, you’ll start to look pretty good.

That’s why you don’t want to crawl back to her right away. Let her develop the idea that she misses the good things in the relationship. When she’s ready to make a move, be magnanimous. Welcome her back graciously. Be a new and improved boyfriend, but don’t do the chasing.

Here are some specific steps to take when your ex is in a rebound relationship:

· Don’t try to convince her that you are the love of her life. Let her discover this on her own.

· Don’t apologize profusely. If you did something wrong, you can say you’re sorry. Once. But move on. She knows the real reason she loves you.

· Don’t make promises to change. You are who you are and that’s who she fell in love with.

· Don’t try to make her see that it wasn’t your fault. She will come to appreciate that over time – but only if you haven’t made her invest energy in defending her position that it was your fault.

· Never, ever beg her to take you back.

When you ex starts going out with someone just after you break up, she’s in a rebound relationship. You can make up with her and get back together. Don’t despair. The rebound relationship is a sign that she’s still in love with you.



Thursday 20 August 2009

How To Recover From Break Up

Are you getting over break up right now? Do you hurt so bad that you feel like your heart is going to explode? Do you want to see the other person one minute and want to kill them the next?

Just as there are stages of grief when mourning someone who has died, there are also steps that must be taken when getting over break up. One woman whose first husband died and second husband divorced her said that it was actually easier getting over the death of a husband than it was recovering from divorce. That is because there’s societal support when someone dies, but you are supposed to go about getting over break up on your own.

The first thing you should do is sit down and write a long letter to your ex. Pour out your heart. Share the experiences you had together. Tell him or her why you loved them. Put on paper how you feel about the break up. Call them names. It’s okay to emote in this letter because no one is ever going to see it. That is because you are going to light a candle and burn the letter over the candle’s flame. There are not many rituals that go along with breaking up, but this one can help you on the road to emotional recovery.

Next, you need to arrange to exchange stuff. If you have been in a relationship of any length, you probably have some stuff of his at your place and he’s got your things at his. You probably want much of this stuff back and he or she is equally eager to get theirs. Work out a time for a mutual exchange.

If there are things of your ex’s that aren’t going to be exchanged, either box them up or throw them away. Don’t leave your ex’s toothbrush lying around the bathroom because it will only remind you of them as you are trying to go about getting over break up.

It is also a good idea to box up any gifts your ex gave you for a time. Wearing a watch that your ex gave you will make you think of them every time you check to see what time it is. That’s just not a good idea when getting over break up.

There are sometimes financial matters that need to be straightened out when getting over a break up. If you owe your ex money, try to either pay it off from your own funds or get another loan to pay it off. If you have a checking account together, work out how you are going to divvy it up and then go to the bank to close it.

What you should be seeing is a pattern of closing out the parts of your lives that you shared. This is essential to getting over break up.

After you have done what is necessary, agree to have no contact for thirty days. This will allow you to start building separate lives. You shouldn’t call, text, email, or meet the other person during this time. You may even want to agree that some places such as a specific bar or even a given church “belong” to one party or the other during this month long period.

After you have had time to begin building a separate life, you will be able to interact more normally once again. This is a difficult time, so give yourself the space you need in order to go about getting over break up.


Tuesday 18 August 2009

Dating Girls: 3 Most Important Things to Remember

Everyone does it. Not everyone loves it. Whether you enjoy dating or find it stressful and horrible, you know that if you are ever going to find the one person who can stop your dating life forever, you have to do it. Gentlemen, you simply have to date girls if you are ever going to find the perfect one for you. So, here is some good advice for you.

Successful dating can be broken down into three most important things about dating girls:


1. Girls are not guys. They do not think it is cool to brag about your previous relationship conquests. They do not want to know about the ditzy blonde who had nothing to say but had the most amazing rack ever created. Nor do they think it is great to have their guy greeted by every woman in the place. Take your date to a different place just to be on the safe side and never, never, never mention your ex-girlfriend.

2. Girls are not guys. They do not like to see you show up at their door in your ratty old jeans with a cheap five-buck pizza in hand. Trust me on this one. Maybe later – way later, like after the kids become teenagers – it will be okay for this kind of thing to happen. But for now, please, guys: take a shower, put on something nice like khakis and a pullover shirt, and have flowers in hand instead of greasy fast food.

3. Girls are not guys. They do not love it when their date pulls out buy-one-get-one-free coupons at the restaurant cash register. There is nothing wrong with a bargain, especially in these tough economic times, but use those freebies when you go out with your mom (who will love your thriftiness) or your best buddy (who wouldn’t notice or care how you paid). Don’t make your date think that she is not worth full price.

Remembering these most important things to remember about dating girls will take you farther than anything else when it comes to having a great time on your dates. The most important things to remember about dating girls will also allow you to get more than one date with the same lady. There are lots of people who will offer you lots of advice about dating, and even some who will simply say, “Be yourself.”

That is not terrible advice, but trust me, if being yourself includes any of the forbidden behavior in the most important things to remember when dating girls list, don’t be yourself. Be better. Remember these three most important things about dating girls and have a better dating life.




To learn more read The Magic Of Making Up

Monday 17 August 2009

How To Restore Trust in Relationships After An Affair

How do you get your ex back even after you’ve cheated? Some people claim that an affair should always end a relationship. But I believe that every relationship is savable if both parties really want to work on it.

Restoring trust in relationships requires an adjustment in attitude and actions. Even after an affair, it is possible to save a relationship. But that starts with ramping up the level of trust within the couple.
If you have had an affair, you have had an attitude which allowed you to stray. There may be something at the relationship’s core that is diseased. But you can heal the disease.

What was it that you were looking for when you strayed? Was the sex humdrum? Was she too busy for you? Was she just not spending enough time on her grooming?

You wouldn’t have had an affair if the primary relationship was perfect. So, what needs to be done to fix it? Often that lies in self analysis. But just as often, that lies in the couple’s relationship.

Restoring trust in relationships means fixing the underlying problems. Sometimes that means going into couples counseling.

But just understanding our thoughts isn’t enough. The next step is to take concrete action in fixing the problems.

The secret to restoring trust in relationships lies not in talking about the right things, but in doing the right things.

One of the biggest things you can do is to make small promises and keep them. If you promise to take the trash out every evening, do it. And, do it consistently. When you demonstrate that you can be trusted in the small things, a gradual sense of confidence will be realized in the larger picture of the relationship.

Your girlfriend or wife is going to need constant reassurance that you have changed. This means that you are going to need to apologize more than once over time. You will also need to treat the recurring comments about the violation of trust as a matter of course. It is not easy for her to forgive the breach. If you want to stay with her, you will be patient with her.

This does not mean that you must feel guilty about the indiscretion forever. In fact, if you allow her to constantly guilt trip you, she will not be satisfied in the new relationship you are building. Just be understanding.

Finally, you need to put a positive spin on the incident. Treat it as an opportunity for both of you to grow as individuals and for the relationship to mature. Just as a bone grows stronger at the place it has been broken, a relationship can improve after an affair.

Restoring trust in a relationship takes time. It requires that you change both your attitudes and actions. But it is possible to heal the divide and be a stronger couple as a result.




More tips and advices in The Magic Of Making Up

Sunday 16 August 2009

Getting Ex Boyfriend Back - 5 Simple Tips

It is not easy for you and your ex boyfriend to get back after a breakup. However, there are a few tips that you can follow to have him back again. So many people don’t succeed in winning their ex back. It's not really our fault. No one ever handed us an instruction book when we first started dating that taught us how to handle a breakup. Much less, how to get someone back after a breakup..

If you want your ex boyfriend back then these 5 simple steps should help achieve your goal:

1.The first tip which will help you and your ex boyfriend to get back is to get your head straight. You need to get rid of the negative thoughts. You have to stop feeling sorry for yourself. You have to be willing to be strong. Don't let your emotion and especially depression keep you down. You can't achieve a goal, if you can't keep your emotions in check and your mind clear. Negative thoughts are destructive behavior.

2.Accept that the relationship in its prior form is over. All the wishing in the world isn't going to allow you to go back in time and change the way things happened. You can't let your mind keep wandering into the past.

Focus on what is going on now. If you realize that the relationship of the past wasn't perfect you're heading in the right direction and laying the foundation for you and your ex boyfriend to get back. Remember you are most likely glossing over all the bad stuff that happened. Think about this; the relationship didn't get broke in a day. Don't expect to be able to fix it in a day either.

3.Don't pester your ex boyfriend. Guys just don't like it when girls become obsessive about them. Especially ex boyfriends. You may want to seek comfort by hearing his voice or seeing his face, but if you really want him back, you must back off for a while. Don't continuously call him, text message him, email him, or go to his place or where he hangs out just to see him. Give him time to realize he may have made a mistake. He may begin to actually miss you. If you blow it, you may have a tougher time getting him back.

4.Become an object of desire. If you can, get some new makeup. Get some new clothes. Get a new hairstyle. If you've picked up a few pounds, start exercising and eating healthy. When you look good on the outside, you're going to start feeling better about yourself on the inside. By feeling good on the inside you will be confident and happy. When you're confident and happy, you will project this image to others. You will become an object of desire to men. This includes your ex boyfriend.

5.Take it slow. If you followed steps 1-4 your ex boyfriend at some point will probably get in touch with you. Imagine his surprise when he sees the “new” you from step 4. He will probably be sorry that he broke up with you. Keep your physical contact with him to a minimum, if you do see him.

Seeing you looking your best and seeing that you've become confident and happy will make him desire you. If you limit your physical contact with him, this will drive him crazy. It will probably help to ensure that you don't just jump back into a relationship only to breakup a short time later.

These tips may not be easy for you to do at first. You may want to give in and call him or see him, but you have to resist the temptation.



Saturday 15 August 2009

When Love Still Exists...

Do you want to win ex back? You have a lot of emotional investment in the relationship, and may not want to throw it away without an attempt to reignite the flame.

First of all, you need to analyze your own feelings. Do you still care deeply about your ex? Sometimes a great passion burns into being merely comfortable. You don’t want to lose your ex because he’s like an old slipper. But comfort doesn’t make a great relationship. There has to be a great love. If you still have passionate feelings for your old boyfriend, you can move onto the next step of how to win ex back.

And that next step is examining how he feels about you. Does he have the same kind of grand love? If the problems in the relationship were things you can work on – communication, time management, goal awareness – then you can win ex back. But, if the problem was deeper – he was no longer in love with you – you should start to move on now.

When you have determined that this was a grand love, you can start to work on the things that can bring you back together. For instance, think back to who you were when your boyfriend fell for you. Perhaps you weighed 10 pounds less, had a more optimistic outlook on life, were close to your girlfriends, or were involved in a variety of activities.

After you spend time with a guy, you begin to change. You spend less time with girlfriends or on your own activities as he begins to demand more of your presence. You may have let yourself go because you feel secure in his affection.

If you want to win ex back, you need to go back to being the woman he fell in love with.

Another tip to how to win ex back is to practice detachment. Don’t call, text, or stalk him. You don’t want to appear desperate. By seeming to accept the situation, you actually become more desirable to him.

In practicing detachment, you also begin to focus on what makes you happy. You get reconnected to friends and family. You take up hobbies and other things which interest you. You become a more positive person in general. This all helps in win ex back.

When you do get together with your ex from time to time, use the past to your advantage. For instance, if there was an outfit he really liked to see you in, wear it. If you eat at a restaurant where you had a good time with him, mention that you were there again. Because you have many positive experiences with this guy, you can use your common history to win ex back.

From time to time, invite your ex to non-committal type events. Ask him to join a group of your friends at a bar or invite him to a party. Let him know he’s free to bring a date.

Finally, if you want to win ex back, just be yourself. Either he’s in love with you or he isn’t. You can’t change who you are to win ex back. You can only be yourself.



Find more relationship tips in The Magic Of Making Up

Friday 14 August 2009

A Girls' Step-By-Step Guide To Making Up

How do you get guy back? How do you convince him that what the two of you had together was special?

First of all, you have to recognize that whatever happened, you were both at fault. If you cheated, he wasn’t giving you what you needed so you looked elsewhere. If he cheated, you were the one not giving what he needed. Yes, the cheater is morally culpable for the cheating. The moral responsibility does not lie with the person who was cheated upon. But the fault lies in both party’s laps.

Given that, it is important to forgive and forget. True forgiveness means that you let go of all of the anger related to the incident. You never bring it up again. You never let it cloud your relationship. If you cannot do this, you won’t get guy back for any period of time.

If you were the person at fault, apologize – and mean it. Too many times, after people say “I’m sorry,” there’s an “Oops, I did it again,” moment. You’re not Britney Spears. It’s not cute. When you say you are sorry, you have to commit to changing. Otherwise, you don’t mean it and you won’t get guy back.

Be prepared to chase him a little bit. This doesn’t mean sending him hundreds of text messages or stalking him, but you have got to show him that you are still interested if you want to get guy back. You can’t expect him to come running back just because you have sent out some modest signals that you are ready to re-start the relationship. Put your ego in check and put your heart on the line.

You may have to settle for something less than you wanted. It may be that he is only ready to be friends when you want a full fledged boyfriend. It may take time to rebuild the trust. If this is the case, you need to give him the space he needs to get to know you again. Accept that you have to take what he is offering right now if you want to eventually get guy back.

Finally, you have to know when to give up on the get guy back strategy. Sometimes, you just have to move on. If your boyfriend is unable to forgive you, you are in a position where the best thing you can do is move on and enter into new relationships. While this will break your heart right now, it may be the best thing that could have happened to you. Whatever went wrong in this relationship, your soul mate is still out there. Get guy back may stop you from meeting him!



Learn more tips in The Magic Of Making Up

Thursday 13 August 2009

VIDEO - Advice On Letting Go

To find out more CLICK HERE

Wednesday 12 August 2009

Do You Want To Get Girl Back? Step-By-Step Guide

When you’ve broken up with someone you care about you have a hard time thinking of anything but how to get girl back. If you truly want this to happen, you’ll probably have to make some changes. Whatever happened to cause the break up should be looked at. Was it something you did, or didn’t do? Is it something that you can still fix, or is it too late?

If it was something you did or didn’t do and you can fix it now, then fix it. Undo something, or do something you should have done already. Apologize and make amends. This alone might not get girl back, but it’s the first step on the path to getting her back. If whatever happened can’t be fixed, then at the very least make sure she knows that you’re sorry and that you'd change what happened if you could.

Now that you’ve moved past what caused the break up, the next step to get girl back is to make her want you back. That sounds like common sense, but so many people don’t do it. If the relationship ended with her angry, then you have to show her something that makes her happy again. You’re going to have to be especially patient and forgiving. Be as sweet as you can possibly be when you talk to her or see her.

Even if you’re angry at the time or you feel far from happy, at least show her the most pleasant side of yourself you can. Make her remember your good qualities and what she liked about you when you were happy. If she feels you have truly apologized for what caused the break up and she sees your sweet side again, you might be able to get girl back.

It’s important to pay close attention when you see or talk to her. Listen carefully and don’t interrupt. Let her express herself without jumping in and telling her how she ought to feel or what she ought to do. You won’t get girl back by trying to boss her around!

You also need to pay close attention to see if your efforts are having an effect. Sometimes you can see that she’s softening to you. She talks nicer when she sees you, and you have been seeing her more often. Maybe she even seeks you out more often than she did before. Or she seeks you out now after ignoring you for a long time. Your efforts to get girl back are working!

Because she’s so impressed with how sweet you are, she wants to be around you more. And that only reminds her why she wanted to be with you in the first place. Pay careful attention also if you suddenly stop seeing her as much as before, or she becomes distant or angry talking when you see her. That’s a good sign that you’re pushing and she’s uncomfortable. Take a break and you’ll have a better chance to get girl back.




Tuesday 11 August 2009

Use Your Common Sense To Win Love Back

Too many people try to win love back in a completely wrong way. They think that they must aggressively pursue their ex in order to get him or her back. In fact, nothing could be further from the truth.

The first thing you need to know in the how to win love back arena is that you do not want to chase your ex.

Too many guys think they must pursue their ex’s. They send hundreds of texts, call at odd hours of the day, and even stalk their ex girlfriend’s home. They send flowers and gifts.
This is wrong, wrong, wrong because it makes you look desperate. Women like Alpha males, not sniveling guys they think are jokes. When you appear desperate, your ex girlfriend will start playing head games with you. She’ll let you come over, and then invite a new guy over too. She’ll pretend she’s interested only to go off in another direction.

And, the more you fall into this trap, the more games she’ll play. This is not the answer to how to win love back.

Instead of chasing her and being desperate, you need to play games with her that make her come crawling to you.

When you are in a group that includes her, flirt with every girl but her. If she has an enemy in the group, pay special attention to that girl. By ignoring your ex, you make her want to come back to you. You are reminding her of all of your charms, but not applying them to her.

It’s a good idea to go out on a date with one of her close friends. Send your ex a text message saying “now that we’re just friends, I wanted your opinion on something. Where should I take Mary to dinner after the big game?” That is sure to make your ex girlfriend jealous and it’s one of the tricks for how to win love back.

Even if you don’t want to play head games with your ex, there is one thing that you can do that may help you in the how to win love back arena. That is, you should be happy.

Girls like to date happy guys. If you work on you rather than focus on her, you have a much better chance getting her back.

Go work out at the gym. Hang with your buddies. Get involved in a hobby you never had time for when you were dating her. Go out on dates. Even if you have to fake being happy initially, you will soon realize that you really are happy.

This way, whether you get the girl back or you move on, you will be a happier person.



To learn more read The Magic Of Making Up

Monday 10 August 2009

Tips To Avoid A Love Break Up

If you’ve ever had your love break up you know how painful it is. And if you thought back after the relationship ended, you probably saw all the signs that you didn’t recognize before. If you’ll remember those signs and keep them in mind, they can help you to prevent a break up in the future. And they can also help you to get back together after a split.

One sure sign of impending love break up is the lack of physical contact. This doesn’t just mean sex. If your partner suddenly stops having an interest in sex, that’s a good sign that a break up is coming. But the normal flow and rhythm of a relationship has times when there’s lots of sex and times when there’s not much. This is natural.

A love break up is probably on the horizon though, if your partner stops holding your hand for no apparent reason. Or he or she stops putting an arm over your shoulder at the movies or in public when he or she always did it before. Any sudden changes like not touching you much outside the bedroom when your partner was always very affectionate before could signal problems.

If it goes beyond not touching to the person actually becoming uncomfortable at your touch, then you definitely need to have a conversation with your partner about what’s going on. Don’t just assume that because your partner flinched away from your touch that there’s about to be a love break up, though. Many things can cause a person to not want to be touched at any given moment.

A person might have been thinking of something else and been surprised or startled by the touch. He or she might think that your touch signals that it’s time to have sex, if you’re not very affectionate except when you want to be intimate. And maybe your partner isn’t in the mood for sex now and chose to show you that by moving away from your touch. That doesn’t mean you’re headed for a love break up.

Your partner might simply not feel good. Every change in a person’s behavior doesn’t signal an impending love break up or even anything wrong with the relationship. You have to watch them closely for a while to determine if some behavior is an occasional thing, something brought on only during certain times, or if it’s a permanent part of the person’s make up.

Catching your partner in lies, even what seem like small and harmless ones, could be a sign of problems, too. After all, if a lie is small and harmless, why tell it in the first place? Where there’s one tiny lie, larger and more damaging lies can grow. Don’t become convinced it’s a love break up right away though. People lie about many things that aren’t bad, like surprise parties and reunions. Your partner might be trying to keep a harmless and fun secret like that, instead of scheming about a love break up.




You can learn more on relationships tips and advices in The Magic Of Making Up

Sunday 9 August 2009

How To Survive A Painful Breakup With Guy - Five Steps For Moving On

Whether he dumped you or you broke up with him, letting go of someone who you had a close relationship is very difficult. There is a space in your heart as well as a space in your life that are not quickly filled with anything or anyone else. Yet, people do get over a relationship.

First, you need to let out the hurt. Know that it is okay to cry when you are trying to get over guy. Some people keep a journal of their experiences because writing about the pain helps.
One thing that I have seen some people do that is very effective is to write a long letter about the relationship to their ex boyfriend. Talk about the good times and bad. Talk about the relationship and how he hurts you. Let it all out. When you have finished the letter, burn it. That’s right. Don’t even think about sending it to your ex. Instead, let flames consume the letter. That provides excellent closure to the relationship.
Next, you have to decide that the relationship is really over. If you hold on to the thought that he will change and come back to you, you will never get over guy and move on.

Do something that symbolizes the finality of the end of the relationship. A good example of this is to exchange all of the personal property that you have of the other’s. Don’t even keep the oversized t-shirt of his that is so comfortable for sleeping in. And, if there are things to minor to exchange (like a toothbrush), throw them away. Clear your place of all of his things. It is a way of clearing him from your life.

You need to depend on your friends through this time. Until you meet your husband, guys will come and go, but your girlfriends are forever. If you have been in a hot and heavy relationship, you may have inadvertently ignored your friends for a time. Not only will your girls help you get over guy, but reconnecting will be good for your social life.

Also, your girlfriends will have had similar experiences to your break up. Sharing their pain will help you understand that, however bad the hurt you are experiencing, others have survived and you will too.

You will probably have extra time on your hands now that you have broken up. You used to spend a lot of time with your ex. Use this time productively to get over guy. Go to the gym and get your body in shape. Take up a new hobby.

One of the best things you can do during this period is to join a group or a class. Not only does a class take up the time you would have spent with your ex, but it also introduces you to a new circle of friends.

And, that brings me to my last point, when you want to get over guy, the best thing you can do is move on. Between your old friends, the new friends you make in your class or hobby, and the activities you do to fill up your time, you will emerge as a new person.


You can find out more on how to survive a painful breakup in The Magic Of Making Up

Saturday 8 August 2009

VIDEO - Honest Communication In Relationships

Honesty expert, Steven Gaffney talks to NBC4 about relationships and how honest communication plays a role. To find out more CLICK HERE

Friday 7 August 2009

How Can I Save My Marriage

It is depressing to see many marriages that are in turmoil, and it is especially disconcerting to see them end up as messy divorces, so you may ask how can I save my marriage? Filing for divorce is not the solution for when a marriage has hit its pushing limits. There are a number of solutions that require that both partners to be fully committed in saving the relationship that they have. The first step is counseling, which enables the couple to have a mediator in dealing with their issues.

In addition to professional services, there are a number of different things that can be done to save a marriage, it is not a complicated process and does not require much outside of both parties working towards the common goal. Below are four things that you can take to heart and utilize to "save my marriage" and improve the odds of successfully avoiding divorce.

First, know that the perfect marriage is a myth. Whenever two people are brought together, there will be problems, including the few that can grow into deal breakers in your marriage. This is a natural result of bringing two people together. Even perfect twins differ in likes and dislikes. For the marriage to succeed, the couple must learn to deal with the rough patches and overcome their problems. Seeking perfection will only destroy everything. People make mistakes, work with your partner and overcome the problems you face, and you'll realize it is possible to "save my marriage."

Second, good communication is vital, for when the communication is insufficient, the marriage is doomed to face problems. The most vital thing is to be honest with your partner. Just about every issue and problem can be solved if communication is maintained.

The third tip is to accept compromise. Many have made this an art, with good reason. The middle ground that will enable a conclusion to the conflict has to mesh with both parties and their interests before it can "save my marriage." Marriage on a whole is about compromise and knowing that there are times when your spouse will have to give and times when you have to give in order to "save my marriage."

Really, a marriage is about commitment, the fourth tip. Like a car, if it breaks down, you don't abandon the car on the side of the road. The only time you do get rid of the car is when there is no hope. Saving your marriage involves the same level of commitment and working towards making things work, if you ever have a chance to "save my marriage."

Sometimes, the damage to the marriage totals in, and no matter what you do, nothing can change it. Some issues cannot be solved, counseling cannot help. It is in these cases that divorce makes sense. Outside of these cases, divorce is not the answer. Instead, you should work with your partner to solve the issues that plague your marriage, and hopefully you will be able to say that you can "save my marriage."



For more tips read The Magic Of Making Up

Thursday 6 August 2009

How To Deal With Break Up Pain

Dealing with break up pain, any way that you look at it, is not going to be an easy or enjoyable task. A lot of people incorrectly believe that they will be able to manage their heartbreak, only to find out that carrying a torch for someone after a love affair is a lot like grieving, at least if you look at the relationship as having passed on. When it comes to dealing with a broken intimate relationship, it is important that you look past the pain and find a way to survive even when things seem impossible for the time being.

Relationship breakup puts a lot of people through fear and misery. Some of the people going through these feelings have no one in the world to turn to, and this is why people suffer so hard from heartbreak in the first place.

Dealing with break up pain all by yourself can seem impossible at first, but consider how many people deal with love and loss in their lives and survive to talk about it. You too will be able to get over what feels like a crippling break up, but only if you are willing to deal with heartbreak pain the right way, and the healthy way for that matter.

So why is the pain from a lost love break up so difficult? Because when dealing with a break up, it will seem as if you are the only one who has suffered the kind of pain you’re going through. It is important that you continue to try to heal rather than allowing yourself to give up on the situation. Dwelling on the painful split from your lover will not help you, so instead you should work on getting better and moving on, which will allow you to stop dealing with break up pain and start dealing with moving on and finding someone new, perhaps even someone that has a better dynamic with you.

Spend time with your friends and let them help you get your mind off your heartbreak.
Don't dwell on the bad feelings, but focus on the good parts of your life in order to promote healing.

Your friends will probably realize that you're going through something serious, and they will more than likely dedicate themselves to trying to help you through it. If this is the case, don't blow them off, because going out and spending time with your friends and the people that you care about will be extremely helpful when it comes to dealing with break up pain.

Everyone goes through a period where they are dealing with break up pain, because everyone goes through a breakup. Rather than allow yourself to suffer while dealing with breaking up pain, what you should do is enjoy yourself and work on healing rather than allowing yourself to become stressed out, overwhelmed or depressed by your heartbreak.



Refer to The Magic Of Making Up for more useful information.

Wednesday 5 August 2009

How To Repair A Toxic Relationship

How can you tell if you are in a toxic relationship?
Here are some clues:

· Your partner puts you down (verbally) in front of others.

· While your partner says they love you, their actions don’t back it up.

· Your partner is controlling – reading your mail or “showing up” at places you are just to “check up” on you.

· Your partner tries to make you dependent on them.

· You have changed things about yourself to please your partner.

Toxic people make you feel ill just being around them.

So, why would anyone end up in a toxic relationship?

Why would anyone want to be with someone who makes them feel emotionally or physically harmed?
A toxic relationship has a cycle. There’s a honeymoon period, followed by a blow up, followed by a reconciliation – at which point the cycle begins anew.

When you first meet a new partner, you are obviously in the honeymoon stage. It is not until they’ve sucked you in further that you realize that you are in a toxic relationship. At that point, it is difficult to get out.

One reason is that many people in toxic relationships grow up in toxic homes. As a result, they replicate the patterns of their childhood without even knowing they’re doing it. And, they may not know any better. Others believe they do not deserve happiness. Still others find that they enjoy taking care of people.

But the first step in getting out and staying out of toxic relationships is to realize that you do have choices. Often people who stay in these couples have low self esteem or suffer from depression.

Once you realize that you have choices, the next step is to start standing up for yourself. In most toxic relationships, the toxic partner has taught you that it is all your fault. Once you buy into this, it can be very difficult to either walk away from the relationship or set new limits that can heal the relationship.

For some people, working in therapy groups can help them either get out of or redefine these horrible relationships.

The good news is that some people are able to break the cycles of toxic relationships. Some of them leave the relationship and form new, healthier bonds.

But others are actually able to repair their relationship and stay in it.

The truth is that most relationships are able to be salvaged. Sometimes it takes a little space. Other times, it takes counseling. But if both partners make an attempt, it is possible to renew the bonds in a healthy way.

The first thing you need to decide is that the relationship must improve or you’re willing to walk away. If you aren’t willing to walk away, you’ll never be able to heal that which divides you.

Once you have liberated yourself from the dependency that is at the core of a toxic relationship, you can start to assert what you need from the connection. Don’t nag the other person. Simply say “I need your support,” “I need your love,” or “I need your truthful opinion.”

If you don’t get what you need, the other person should know that you’re prepared to walk.
A healthy relationship is a two way street. In a toxic relationship, the street is only going one way. You have the power to change that, but you must take the power into your own hands.



Tuesday 4 August 2009

Discover How To Get Your Ex Back In 4 Proven Steps

Almost everyone in their life has had to go through a breakup. A breakup is a strange thing. Most things in life, the more you do them, the easier it becomes to do. With breakups no matter how many you've had to go through in the past, they certainly don't become easier to go through.

After a breakup, unless the relationship was completely terrible, most people desire to get their ex back. In fact, sometimes, even if the relationship was unhealthy, they still desire to get their ex back. You really shouldn't try to get back with your ex if they ever used physical violence or words to hurt you. That is not a healthy relationship. If you were in a relationship like that and your ex broke up with you, then consider yourself lucky.

Otherwise, most relationships follow a pretty predictable pattern. When you first meet someone everything is wonderful and new. They can do no wrong and you can do no wrong in their eyes. After a short while comfort sets in. You adjust to each other. When the newness is gone and the comfort is there things in the relationship change. The little quirks you were willing to overlook before actually bother you now.

There is an expression: “Familiarity breeds contempt.” Truer words couldn't be spoken for relationships. After a couple get comfortable and familiar with each other, trouble usually starts. This is exactly what tests the strength of the relationship. It takes work and effort to maintain a relationship. Sometimes, when things break, instead of getting repaired, the other person wants out of the relationship completely.

Do you believe, despite it being over, your relationship is worth salvaging, even if the other person made it clear, it's over? You need some answers on how get your ex back. Here are four steps you can take.

1.Say sorry

Saying you are sorry is one of the best how to get your ex back methods. Even if it doesn't get your ex back, it's usually the best first step. Be sure that you say sorry for the right reasons. After a breakup it can be easy to blame yourself for everything. Remember, it takes two people to have a successful relationship. Knowing what exactly to apologize for is critical.

Whatever you do, when you apologize don't let your ex bait you into an argument. The biggest irony of saying sorry to an ex is that it can easily lead to another fight. If you say you're sorry, and your ex brings something else up, don't get defensive. Stay calm, keep your emotions, your ego, and your pride in check.

2.Sit down and talk things out

If your ex is up to it, set a time where both of you can sit down and talk. Whatever you don't beg, plead, cry, or force your ex into this. If they don't want to, then just go to the next step. If they do agree, you're going to have to keep your emotions in check. This isn't the time to get into a fight again. Make it clear to your ex that you have no desire to bring blame into the discussion.

You want to talk about the issues objectively. If you talk strictly about the issues without assigning blame, you'll get better results. It is best if you can get a therapist or an expert in the field of relationships involved with this, if at all possible.

3.Give some space

This may seem counter-intuitive to how get your ex back. You have to remember just because you want to talk to them or see them, doesn't mean they do. It is crucial to allow the partner some space. A brief time away from each other, before you try to win them back, will give you both time to cool down and a chance for them to miss you. If you're in touch with them all the time, they won't be able to miss you.

4.Show them you care about yourself

Prove to them that you care about yourself. If you seem desperate, clingy, and whiny, you will not succeed. If you sit around the house waiting for them to call or keep checking your email every few minutes hoping to get their message, you're not doing yourself any favors. Hang out with friends. Go to movies, go to concerts, go to the mall. Whatever, just get up and get out and live your life.

It's best if you're not there when your ex calls. Then they'll be wondering what you're doing. If you're out and your cell rings and its your ex, don't answer it. Let the call go to voice mail. The best thing to do is wait until the next day to call them back. Tell them you were busy, and you didn't have time to call them back. This will probably shock them. You may even be able to get them to pursue you again.


To find out more read the astonishing book "The Magic Of Making Up"

Monday 3 August 2009

VIDEO - Four Mistakes Everyone Makes That Harm Relationships

Dr. Cason explains four major mistakes people make in relationships and what you can do to stop them. To find out more CLICK HERE

Sunday 2 August 2009

You Can Learn How To Get Her Back In 5 Easy Steps

If you really think that you and your ex are meant to get back together, then you need to learn how to get her back. Learning how to get her back is not necessarily difficult, but it does take some thinking and some planning if you really do want to get the results you seek.

1 - Though it may seem counterintuitive when rekindling the relationship is what you seek, if you want to learn how to get her back you need to begin by cutting off communication for a while. This is going to be tough, and it may even feel as if it is killing you, but it will be killing her even more. After a little bit of time she will begin to realize how much she really needs you, and how much she desperately misses you. Cutting off communication is one of the biggest and most vital steps in rekindling things with your ex.

2 - Allow yourself to recover emotionally. If you want to learn how to get her back, you need to take the time to become emotionally controlled and calmed down. Women dislike men who are desperate, clingy or needy, so pull your life together and get over those feelings long before you consider trying to draw her back in to your life.

3 - Flirt with someone new. This is another step that may seem counterintuitive in nature, but it is extremely useful if you are trying to learn how to get her back. Start talking to another girl, because it will be too much for your ex to bear. Not only will this benefit you because it will take some of your stress away, but it will also let your ex girlfriend know that you are moving on, which will make her jealous and cause her to realize how much she really wants to be with you.

4 - Behave as if nothing is bothering you. In other words, if you want to learn how to get her back, you need to play it cool. She is not going to want to take you back if you are feeling and behaving depressed. You need to make sure that you are behaving as if you are having a good time, overcoming the break up depression to let her know that everything is okay.

5 - Always look your best. Make sure that you are dressed to kill and look your best all the time. She won't be able to resist you, hands down. Appearance can play a large role in showing your ex that you're moving on and look great. If you look great and take the time to look your best, your ex will notice, and will respond positively.

These are just the beginning steps in winning your Ex back. And frankly these aren't my original ideas. T 'Dub' Jackson authored a simple, down to earth step by step plan called "The Magic Of Making Up". And you know, it can work like magic for you.

Saturday 1 August 2009

One Of The Best Relationship Advice For Men

What is the best relationship advice for men? What should men know if they want a relationship to work for the long haul?

Probably the single biggest piece of relationship advice for men is to stop listening to what women say they want and start observing what women actually display that they want.

How do they display what they want? It is as simple as observing what kind of men they choose.
Women say “I want a man who listens to me.” They choose the man who dominates the conversation. Women say, “I want a guy with a good sense of humor.” They date the guy who has money.

Why do women say they want one thing but actually go out with a guy who is just the opposite? The answer to that question lies in the subconscious motivators for getting together. And, therein lies my relationship advice for men.

The historical, biological reason for men and women to get together is to propagate the species. In other words, just because getting pregnant may be the last thing on her conscious mind, when she evaluates a man at the subconscious level, she’s still looking for a good papa for her children.
Is the good dad someone who listens to her? No, it is someone who will provide for her children. And, the person who can provide for her children is someone who has the confidence to bring home the food.

Women need men who can be good providers. While a man can produce thousands of sperm on repeated occasions throughout their adult lives, even into their 90’s, women have about 400 chances of producing a baby. As a result, they are looking for a man who can provide longevity and stability for their babies.

A man who tells a women he is a lawyer and not a paralegal will have a better chance of landing her. That is because she perceives that a lawyer is a better provider for her future children.
But having a good income is not enough. A woman needs to perceive that a man is generous with his resources and will provide for her children. That is why women place such a high value on gifts such as jewelry.

It may also be why the engagement ring must be such a large purchase. When you ask a woman to marry you, you give her a ring, not just because it is traditional and romantic, but because it is a tangible display that you can provide for her and her children.

Further, even though modern humans make money more from their brains than their brawn, women are still programmed to think of strength equaling the ability to provide. That’s why, even when there is evidence to the contrary in the form of a tax return, the woman is hardwired to choose the lineman over the computer geek.

So, the biggest piece of relationship advice for men is to figure out what women need from an evolutionary point of view and give it to her.


To find out more just read "The Magic Of Making Up"