Monday, 30 November 2009

Relationships 101: How To Save Your Relationship

You might think it’s too bad you can’t take a class called relationships 101 in college. They offer math, physics, literature and tons of classes, but a class on relationships is something that could help everyone. Fortunately, you have the skills already to save your relationship and make it better without needed a relationships 101 course.
Most relationships, no matter what happens, can be saved. There are a few relationships that shouldn’t be saved, like those that are abusive or really miserable. But most others have the potential to be fixed. That should be lesson number one in any relationships 101 class.

The problem is, people give up too soon. They’re angry, hurt, upset and it just seems easiest to get out of the situation that made them that way. It’s all too easy to focus only on what’s happening now, and not the past.

If the relationship was good at one point, and most were or no one would have stayed in it very long, then it really can be that way again. But people have to look past the anger and the problems that are happening now, and remember those good times. That’s the only way they’ll even want to try to use relationships 101 theory to save the couple.

To cause further problems, often one person is ready to work hard at saving the relationship. But the other person won’t look past the bad to remember the good. That person is ready to chuck it all away. And can only one person save a relationship?

Sometimes one person can do it, but it’s not easy. It’s hard to stay positive and hopeful when your boyfriend or girlfriend doesn’t act or feel the same. It can start to feel like you’re fighting a losing battle.

Relationships 101 lesson #2: Keep fighting the battle, because even if the relationship doesn’t heal, it will make you a better person. That’s because the things you’ll do to try to save the relationship are simply good for you, and good for the other person, too.

It’s very important to remember the way you behaved with the relationship was new and going strong. Compare that to how you behave with that person now. And turn things around by acting the way you used to, and doing the things you used to.

Strive to be polite again just as you were in the beginning. Be thoughtful and be a good friend to the person whenever you can, even if you’re not going to get anything out of it. Don’t beg them to come back, tell them they need to come back, or threaten what will happen if they don’t come back.

When faced with someone acting like that, would you want to be with that person again? Tell yourself that you’ll survive no matter what happens, but do your very best to show them the person they want to be with again. Best the best “you” no matter what is the best relationships 101 lesson there is.

Sunday, 29 November 2009

VIDEO - 7 STAGES OF MARRIAGE -- Stage 6: Explosion

Saturday, 28 November 2009

How Can A Jerk Get Woman Back

If you are trying to get woman back, but you were a jerk to her, you may not deserve her. That may not be what you want to hear but it may very well be the truth. It is good that you recognize that you may have had a problem but what are you going to do about it and why should she want you back? Until you figure those things out you may not get woman back.

Here’s what you need to do to get woman back:

1) Change the way you look at women. If you consider them property then you do not deserve a chance. View them as people deserving of respect and do your best to give it to them and you might have a chance. To love women you need to respect women.

2) Change the way you treat women. Chivalry is not dead. Be a gentleman and treat them as queens. If you can pull this off your chances improve. Be subtle about it and try not to draw attention. You don’t want to look like you are faking it. They will notice. Women are smart like that and if she doesn’t notice she will have a friend notice and tell her. Your credibility may be shot.

3) Learn humility. This will go a long way towards helping you get woman back.

4) Let her know that you were a jerk. If she tells you that you were, just agree with her. If she exaggerates, or it seems like she is, remember that to her she isn’t. The only person’s opinion that matters is hers if your goal is to get woman back. You’re selling and you’re trying to get her to buy. The customer is always right.

5) Find out if she wants some space or if she wants you to come begging and then give her what she wants. This will be a tough thing to do. You may have to ask around to people who know her well. She may even think that your efforts to try out are worth giving you a second thought.

6) Try and convince her friends that you are changed. You will have to do this first. They will be skeptical of you and will be most interested in protecting their friend that you hurt. If you can win her friends then you have won the major part of the battle. If you try and get ex back first, you will have trouble convincing her and even if you do, they may talk her out of it. Do you want her trusted friends for you or against you?

7) Don’t tell her that you have changed, show her. Words are great but it doesn’t mean anything unless there is some action to back it up. You need more than words.

8) Think about the long term and if you are going to be able to make this change permanent. If you can’t then you are going to end up in the same place you are now but only with a smaller chance to get woman back.

Friday, 27 November 2009

Understanding The Wife-Husband Relationship

The wife-husband relationship can be a complicated one. Many marriages fail because one or both partners don’t really understand the dynamic of the relationship. If even one person has a basic understanding of it, the marriage is bound to be stronger. But if both people understand how a wife-husband relationship works, then it has the best chance of being a good marriage.

One of the keys to understanding the wife-husband relationship is to realize just how different men and women really are. Aside from the obvious physical differences, the sexes are different emotionally and mentally, too.

When faced with a problem, for instance, men and women tend to approach it from completely different angles. Women are more likely to discuss it with other people. They might get advice and input from a few friends. It’s not uncommon for women to talk about the problem at length.
That’s because women solve problems when they talk about them. They explore all the angles of the issue and how they feel about it, and often in doing so a solution appears.

Men, on the other hand, tend to be more tight-lipped about problems. They think about it more than they talk about it. It’s more common for a man to ponder a problem and say little until he’s figured out the solution.

In the wife-husband relationship this difference in problem solving can itself be a problem. He might think that she’s talking it to death when she should be trying to figure it out herself. And she might think he’s not even worried about something because he’s not talking about it. When in reality, it’s on his mind all the time and he’s just not pointing it out.

Sometimes, women tend to talk about things that they don’t necessarily want help with, or advice about. They simply want someone to listen to their opinion and thoughts. Where if a man is talking about something, it’s because he wants an answer.

If a woman is talking about something just to get it off her chest or vent, other women tend to get that and offer support. They don’t try to tell her what to do for the most part, but simply join in the conversation in empathy.

A man might simply state a solution and tell the woman what she should do, thinking he’s being very helpful and doing what he’s supposed to. But really, the woman will feel that he’s not listening and instead just trying to end the conversation.

Of course, not every wife-husband relationship will happen exactly like these examples. Some men will talk out a problem and some women will be tight-lipped about it. But in general, the sexes can be expected to follow these typically patterns.

Understanding those patterns can help you stop yourself before you do something that’s natural to you. You can think about what your partner needs from you instead, and do that .Your wife-husband relationship will be much stronger and happier because of it.

Find out more in The Magic Of Making Up

Thursday, 26 November 2009

Saving The Scorpio Woman Relationship

So you’ve made up and you’re back in a Scorpio woman relationship. That the Scorpio has agreed to try again is a very good thing, because often when people under this sign end something, it’s for good. Understanding the sign and its tendencies can help you heal your Scorpio woman relationship and make it last.

Now that you’re fixing the relationship, look back at what caused the problem. Was there cheating involved? If you cheated, or she thought you were cheating, understand that in the Scorpio woman relationship the potential for jealousy is very high.

This sign is possessive and jealous by nature. It’s flattering to have someone feel that way about you, to an extent. But when it’s taken to extremes it can make the relationship very tense and the amount of trust between you can suffer.

Scorpios are one of the signs more prone to obsession than any other. So if your woman becomes obsessed with the idea that you’ll cheat again, it’s going to be a hard mountain to climb for you to convince her otherwise. You have to be willing to give it a lot of time, and deal with a lot of suspicion.

If she cheated and has seen the error of her ways, try not to be too possessive or act too jealous now. It’s all right for her to know how hurt you were and the damage that it caused. But if you mistrust everything she does now, she’ll soon decide the relationship can’t be saved, even if she wants to stay with you.

Something to keep in mind in a Scorpio woman relationship is that Scorpios don’t like to be wrong. If she thought you were perfect or that you would never do something that you did, it goes beyond her being hurt. You proved she’d made a mistake, which is never easy for a Scorpio.
Any time a Scorpio makes a mistake or is wrong about something, she’ll admit it if she sees the clear evidence. So when she makes a mistake, give her time to realize it on her own. And do your best not to prolong it or keep pointing it out. She’ll appreciate that more than you know.
When you’re making up with this sign, you might tend to tiptoe a bit. Because of Scorpio’s volatile nature, you might worry that one wrong move could lead to another break up, this time for good.

But one of the worst things that can happen in the relationship is for the Scorpio to get bored. Boredom, for some born under this sign, is often worse than things going wrong! At least when things are going wrong there’s activity and movement.

When things are plain boring, though, that can be worse to a Scorpio than when there’s lots of conflict in the air. Scorpios enjoy challenge, debate and even argument. So when you’re healing your Scorpio woman relationship, don’t be so afraid of making a mistake that you’re afraid to make any move at all.

Wednesday, 25 November 2009

Tuesday, 24 November 2009

Relationships And Cheating - How To Get Over It

Does it seem like relationships and cheating go together like chocolate and peanut butter? It can start when everyone you know has had someone cheat on them. And chances are that you’ve had someone cheat on you. Or when it comes to relationships and cheating, you were the one doing the cheating.

Cheating hurts. It hurts the person who’s being cheated on, and believe it or not, it hurts the cheater. The cheater has to hide what he’s doing, probably has to lie to keep it a secret and has to feel the guilt that goes with it.

Even if he or she doesn’t seem guilty, they probably secret feel guilty. When there are relationships and cheating occurs, that doesn’t mean the end of the relationship every time.
You’ve been in a relationship and you’ve been cheated on, and you’ve gotten back together or you’ve never broken up. Can you really make it work now that the other person has cheated? How do you get over it? Will he cheat again?

It’s not easy to save these relationships, and cheating is something that can sometimes happen more than once. But if you can truly rebuild your trust in the other person, then you can stay together and be happy.

Do you know why the person cheated on you? That’s a very important consideration in whether you’ll be able to trust them not to cheat on you again. Were things not good in your relationship at the time, or was it just convenient and just “happened?” You should be able to have a calm discussion about these reasons.

If the reasons turn out to be things like he or she was simply bored that day and the opportunity came along, then you may have problems. If the other person can give no better reasons for hurting you that way, you may want to consider whether you really can forgive them to be happy. It won’t be easy.

If you were having problems, then at least the other person may have thought that the relationship was going to end anyway. They might have felt ignored or undervalued. This is not to give them a good excuse for cheating—they were wrong. But it can help you to understand what they were thinking at the time, and you can work on the problems together.

Relationships and cheating are a curious mixture, with some couples able to move on quite well after the devastation of an affair. Sometimes, though, the person who was cheating on can’t get over it. To stay in the relationship when there’s no trust there, and he or she fears that the other will cheat at any time, can be a miserable thing to do.

The constant suspicions can make you miserable, and can make the other person feel under a microscope 24/7. You have to decide to trust the person not to hurt you again, and let go of the fear even though it can be very hard to do in relationships and cheating situations.

Find out more in The Magic Of Making Up

Monday, 23 November 2009

May Be You Need Some Space In A Relationship

How much space in a relationship is necessary? The answer depends a lot on the type of relationship it is, and each person in it. Some people do better when they’re together constantly, and others crave more of their own space in a relationship.

The hard part is finding a happy medium that both people are comfortable with. This is made more difficult when you each have very different ideas about togetherness and space. But as long as you can compromise on the level of space in a relationship that you both need, then you can work through this challenge.

Some people don’t like to be alone. They’re much happier spending all their time with coworkers, friends, family and their partner. When they’re alone and doing things on their own they feel a little lost and lonely.

Other people cherish their alone time. Without a little solitude, every day they feel burdened and have a hard time relaxing. They feel that they always have to be “up” or “on” for other people when they’re around them, and it can be exhausting.

Those are two extremes, of course. There are also a lot of people who fall somewhere in the middle. They love the time they spend with their partner, but they also want some me-time to balance it out and recharge.

If both of you fall into that happy medium, then defining your space in a relationship should be pretty easy. And if you each fall into the same extreme group, where you both need lots of space or you both dislike being alone, things are made easier, too.

The problems come when one has a very different idea than the other. If you love your solitude and your partner hates being alone, you really need to talk and set some boundaries. Each needs to understand the other’s point of view so you can come up with a compromise that makes you both feel your needs are met.

If you love being alone each day for a while and your partner craves company 24/7, here’s the problem. When you say you need space in a relationship and go off on your own, your partner will feel neglected as if you don’t want to be around because of them.

And if you hate being alone and your partner really wants some me-time, then by hanging around constantly you can start to make your partner feel smothered. Your partner might also think that there’s no trust there, and you won’t give him or her private time because you’re afraid of what he or she might do when you’re not around.

You can see how both of these situations could quickly cause problems in a relationship. But if you talk to each other honestly and openly about how you feel, then when you need time your partner will understand why.

And when he or she hangs around when you'd rather be alone, you recognize that he or she doesn’t need the same kind of space in a relationship that you do.

Sunday, 22 November 2009

The Best Spouse Relationships

The best spouse relationships are based on love and respect. That goes without saying, doesn’t it? Everyone probably realizes that love and respect are crucial to having a good marriage. But beyond love and respect, there are a few things that can help spouse relationships.

Think back to when you were first married. If you’re newly married, think back to when you first met and were dating. How did you treat your partner? You probably treated your partner with respect, but also with kindness and thoughtfulness.

Unfortunately, it’s common that the longer we know someone, the less kind we tend to be toward them. One would think that the opposite holds true. But we start to take the other person for granted and think they’ll always be there, no matter what.

Think of the last time you went to the bank or grocery store and spoke to the cashier. Maybe you exchanged words with a stranger. How was the tone of your voice and your words? You probably sounded like the sweetest person on the planet. That person might have thought “how polite” when you walked away.

Now think to the words and the tone of the voice you use with your spouse sometimes. When you get angry or you’re unhappy about something, think about how you sound. Would you ever speak that way to a stranger? If you’re thinking “probably not” then you’ve started taking advantage of your spouse.

People do it with close friends, parents and children, too. If we could record people’s conversations and play them back at a different time, people might be ashamed of how they sounded. And they probably wouldn’t speak that way to someone they didn’t know well for fear of hurting their feelings!

Good spouse relationships are kind ones. Everyone gets angry now and then. And yes, everyone says things he or she regrets in an angry and even hateful tone of voice. But you can keep these instances to a minimum by just thinking about whether you’d talk to your postman or your boss that way.

Thoughtfulness is also an important factor in good spouse relationships. People love their spouses, but it seems the longer they’re together, they less they sometimes show it. Your spouse is one person you should make a point of being thoughtful toward, too.

In the beginning when you’re first dating someone or first married, you might send (or receive) flowers, cards and little surprises. Generally after people are married for a while, these sorts of things slow down or stop. Remembering to be thoughtful and surprise your spouse can help makes yours one of the better spouse relationships.

Try to keep in mind that marriage isn’t written in stone. There really are other opportunities out there for your spouse. Bring back some of the things you did and said when you were trying to win this person. Be kind and thoughtful as much as you can. Those combined with love and respect will make yours one of the enduring spouse relationships.

Saturday, 21 November 2009

Friday, 20 November 2009

4 Great Lessons From Relationships Experts

If you’ve read or listened to relationships experts, you know that some of what they say is just common sense. They tell us things we already know, but they’re great at putting it into words and examples that make things easier to understand. The best relationships experts just know how to communicate.

They can take those common sense things and say them in a way that makes you “get it.” Like the concept of what to expect and what to give in a relationship. This is one of the best lessons you can get from relationships experts.

Very often we go along in a relationship and as time goes on we start to take the other person for granted a little bit. We don’t thank them as much, and sometimes we don’t do nice things in return for them quite as much.

It’s not that we don’t want to, but that we simply forget or think there will be time later. After the relationship hit a rocky period and ended and you’ve gotten back together, remember to be thoughtful and kind becomes very important. Relationships experts stress that as a good way to keep a relationship strong.

A second great lesson from the experts is to do what the other person will appreciate. This is another great common sense lesson that’s all too easy to overlook. It applies to anytime during a relationship but after you’ve gotten back together from a break up or other bad patch it’s even more important.

To do what the other person wants doesn’t mean you should never consider yourself. But you should try to do what appeals to them to show them that you care. If it really makes you happy when your boyfriend helps you wash the dishes, then maybe if you helped him with some housework that would make him feel loved, too.

But there may be ways he likes to feel loved that are different. He might be the type of person who likes to hear you say it often, or likes romantic gestures. Even if those things aren’t as important to you, you need to do the things that are special to him.

Sometimes we forget that, or we just assume that everyone responds to the same things. But doing what makes the other person feel most special is easy to do, as long as we remind ourselves to do it.

And a lesson that the experts teach that often goes forgotten is respect. Of course, you respect your boyfriend or girlfriend, but does it always show? This is part of taking them for granted but it goes beyond not thanking them or returning loving gestures.

Often, the person we’re closest to gets the brunt our worst days. We might be late for something and keep them waiting, or we might just accidentally be inconsiderate and not apologize enough. Take a lesson from the relationships experts and ask yourself if you treat your partner with the same respect you would treat a parents or co-worker.

Thursday, 19 November 2009

How To Get Your Relationships Needs Met

If you can get your relationships needs met, the relationship has a better chance of being long and happy. Not having your needs met is one of the biggest reasons relationships don’t work out. And after a break up, it’s especially important to have your relationships needs met to stay happy and stay together.

The surefire way to get your needs met in a relationship is by making sure the other person knows just what those needs are. You can’t read minds, and you shouldn’t expect your partner to be able to read minds either. He or she wants to make sure your relationships needs are met, so tell them what they are.

At the same time, encourage your partner to tell you the needs he or she feels are important. You might be surprised to learn, if you’ve never had this conversation before, how different your needs might be.

You might feel the need for you partner to tell you he loves you often, so may you do that for him. He no doubt enjoys that, but maybe what he really needs is for you to do quick considerate things to make him feel special. Some people like to be told, and some people like to be shown.
Simply having a discussion about your relationships needs can strengthen the relationship and make it easier for you to keep each other happy. If you’re uncomfortable having such a frank discussion, you should do it anyway. Telling each other your needs is better than hinting or expecting them to be psychic.

You may really need your partner to be more helpful to you. But when it’s time to clean or wash dishes you do them alone, yet again. And instead of simply asking for help or letting him know that it would mean a lot to you if he would do them sometimes or do them with you, you get angry.

You might huff around while you’re doing them, slam a cabinet, or act otherwise put out. This is passive aggressive behavior. You’re trying to manipulate him into helping you by acting that way. It’s much better and healthier to simply ask for help.

Passive aggressive behavior is common in relationships, and it’s a worsening cycle because it doesn’t work. If he does take your hint, it’s only after you’ve acted put upon, angry and resentful. So his doing the dishes might be only to keep you from acting that way.

If you ask for help and explain that it makes you feel good when he wants to help you, then he’s coming at the task from a place of love and helpfulness. He doesn’t feel guilted into doing it, so it’s better for everyone.

This applies to things like showing affection, respecting each other’s feelings, and every aspect of your relationship. When you want something, ask for it, and be prepared to give your partner what he or she asks for to make sure all your relationships needs are met.

Wednesday, 18 November 2009

The Wife Led Relationship - Is It For You?

There are different degrees to a wife led relationship. Many men are content and even thrilled to let the wife take complete control of the relationship. This goes beyond letting her make the decisions, into dominant and submissive behavior. Some men simply allow the wife to make the major decisions and set the tone, without being truly submissive.

To what degree your marriage becomes a wife led relationship is based mostly on both your preferences. Maybe you feel better when she makes the decisions and handles the checkbook. Remember that though you’re allowing her to have that control, it can be a burden too. Especially if she’s not comfortable with those tasks.

Rather than feeling like she’s lucky to have control, she might feel that you’re pushing off unpleasant decisions and jobs onto her. Be sure to balance it by taking over things that she doesn’t like to do. This type of marriage is wife led in the sense that she has the major amount of control.

But a popular fantasy for many men is to have a truly wife led relationship. They become quite submissive to the wife in everything. They do the chores and anything she tells them. And serving their wives in this way pleases them a great deal.

The submissiveness even carries over their sex lives. In fact, that’s the big appeal for many men in having this type of relationship. They secretly want to be dominated sexually, and the rest just adds to that appeal.

In a true wife led relationship, the man knows that she has authority over him. He does the chores and tries to anticipate her every need. She doesn’t thank him, but may tell him he’s doing a good job.

When it comes to sex, the man is only allowed as much pleasure as the woman feels like letting him have. And not allowing him to have an orgasm, or delaying it, is something these men find enjoyable.

A relationship of this type isn’t for everyone, but many men feel happiest when their wives have control. And while it might sound like the woman has it made in a wife led relationship, it’s not always easy for her either.

If a woman has been raised believing in the typical roles of husband and wife, suddenly being asked to take charge of everything can be daunting. Granted, the housework and other chores will probably be done by the man. But the handling of the big decisions, finances and other things might be a new experience.

Some women may not enjoy it, at least not all the time. But if the man really wants that, a compromise could work where certain days or periods of time are spent with the wife taking charge.

If you would like this kind of relationship but don’t know how to ask your wife, you may want to write your feelings down. Or you could start behaving as if you’re in a wife-led relationship and then bring it up by asking her if she likes your behavior.

Tuesday, 17 November 2009

How To Win My Ex Boyfriend Back From That Girl

You want to win ex boyfriend back because he was yours and for some reason she has him now. If you believe that the two of you should be together then it is very likely that you are. But how are you going to do this? You have to play it smart and dignified if you are going to win ex boyfriend back.

She may want to play nasty to keep him away from you but if you get nasty right back then all you will be doing is feuding and you are too big for that. What you want to do is show him that you are more mature than she is and more like a real woman while that other girl is immature.

If your first instinct is to fight, suppress it. Rise above it. Gain control of your emotions and the other girl may be exposed for being the immature girl she is. If you look favorable compared to her then it will only be too obvious that you are the better choice. Rather than resorting to curses, resort to positive feelings. Be the obvious better choice and you stand a greater chance to win ex boyfriend back.

If she treats him poorly then talk to his friends. They may be feeling the same way. If it keeps going you may have grounds to have an intervention. Talk with their friends and find out with them what you could do together to get him out of that situation. If you want to win ex boyfriend back it will be easier if you have his friends working with you. Much of the best ways to win ex boyfriend back from her is going to be using his friends.

If it seems like he is under some love spells that she put on him, find out what it is that she has over him and try to find ways to show that he deserves better. Let his friends know that he deserves better. They may very well agree with you. If she has him obsessed with her and she is forcing him to spend time with her instead of them, they will want to get him back. If you are on their side, they will be on yours.

If you are able to convince others who know him well that their friend is better off with you then you will have a lot smaller of a battle to fight. There will be so many people against that relationship that it could crumble under the pressure. The secret to having this work in your favor is to be behind the scenes. Let others do the work for you. That way if that other girl catches on you can make her seem like she is paranoid for thinking that you are causing all their problems.

The key to getting what you want, which is to win ex boyfriend back, is to have as many people on your side as possible. It doesn't have to be you against the two of them. It could be the two of them against the world. When their relationship falls apart, you will find it easier to win ex boyfriend back.

Monday, 16 November 2009

Sunday, 15 November 2009

Tips On How To Win Back Lost Love

To win back lost love is not at all natural for everyone and it's no wonder because it's not something most of us have any real understanding of how to successfully do. However, if you want to get back with someone who you're still in love with, then it is something you're going to have to understand and implement.

Once your ex has left the relationship and you know you want them back, it's time to start sorting out your head in order to get them back. No doubt there has been drama and emotional turmoil in the run up to the breakup and during the actual breakup. If you're going to win back lost love you're going to need to sort yourself out and do so on your own.

It is vital that you do not involve your ex as you attempt to clear your mind, because you need space and distance from your ex and they from you. So, if you are still in any form of contact with your ex then break off that contact now. Contact will only make you vulnerable. If you're vulnerable then you become someone whose ability to make rational and calm decisions becomes impaired. Get out from under your ex and stand on your own two feet until you can honestly say that you are through the worst of the initial breakup.

Equally, do your best to avoid spending too much time on your own. Because as much as you need to be away from your ex, you also need to have people around you. Spending too much time on your own brings a real risk of you becoming depressed and low. You might also find that if you're on your own too much, then you can struggle with the temptation to call or try to see your ex. So find your friends. If you need to make new friends, then do so. Do anything to avoid being home alone night after night.

To win back lost love make sure that you are clear about the mistakes that were made in the relationship by you. Yes your ex no doubt made their fair share of mistakes, but for now your concern is your own behavior since that is the only thing you can realistically control and affect.
Come to terms with your weaknesses and make sure that if you need to do some work on yourself that you put in place the right mechanisms to do so. That may involve discussing your situation with a professional or it might mean changing the way that you cope with certain situations.

Whatever you need to do to win back lost love, if you are serious, then you need to get on and do it before it's too late.

Saturday, 14 November 2009

You Made Mistakes - How To Get Partner Back

It is quite common for the person left to not really realize they are deeply in love with their ex until the ex has left the relationship. If this is you, then you no doubt want to discover how to get partner back before it's too late. But what you must not do is to allow the fact that you have made some mistakes to stop you in your attempt. It is very well documented that most of the relationships that break up could very easily be put back together again, if only one of those involved actually tried. So try!

There are some basic steps that you can take when you're looking into how to get partner back, you simply have to make sure that you get the details of these steps correct and that you spend a sufficient amount of time going through each step. How much time, varies from situation to situation and the real truth is that only you can judge the time that you think you might need.

If the relationship was a tumultuous up and down messy emotional one, then it is going to need a longer time to get over the initial mess of the break up. Longer than if your relationship was stable and less exacting. So be honest with yourself and be clear about what kind of relationship you had with your ex, because the truth right here will go a long way to helping you figure out how to get partner back.

A clue is that most people need at least a month on their own without contact with their ex to start the healing process. Don't try and bypass this alone time because without it most attempts fail.

You are going to spend your alone time looking at the mistakes that you might have made and you are going to forgive yourself for those mistakes. If you try and get back with your ex and you have not forgive yourself, then how is it possible for your ex to fully forgive you. So be kind to yourself, accept your fallibility and forgive yourself.

That doesn't mean that you just draw a line under any mistakes that you may have made and forget about them. It means that you should then go on to figuring out how you can avoid such mistakes in the future, if the same or similar situations arise. Because you really do not want to get into a cycle of the same old things that keep on happening.

Once you're confident that you have the emotions and the reasons behind your mistakes sorted out, you are then ready to go ahead and actually make contact with your ex and ask to talk to them.

Friday, 13 November 2009

Forget Your Heart And Use Your Head To Win Back Love

If you're serious about finding a way to win back love, then it means you're going to have to start using your head and stop following your heart! It really is that simple.

So let's look at this! Your heart is no doubt telling you to drop everything, chase down your ex and make them listen to what you have to say, whether they want to or not. You heart has convinced you that all your ex has to do is to hear and understand just how much you miss, love and want them back and your ex will forget about everything that went wrong take you back on the spot! Wrong!

To win back love your head would never tell you to do any of that, instead your head would say back off, get a grip and take your time. Guess which one you should be listening to! Yep, your head!

So, leave your ex alone, don't call them, don't try to accidentally bump into them wherever you know they hang out and don't send them love notes – in short make no attempt whatsoever to contact them.

By contacting them, you're making yourself appear desperate, a pain in the butt and someone that no right minded person would even want to be around never mind consider dating again. Like a diamond that increases in value the rarer it is, where your ex is concerned, aim to be rare! Let your ex wonder where you are and why they haven't heard from you and just like that they will want to hear from you and see you.

If you're stuck with a problem and the first person you would usually call is your ex, then you're going to have to figure out how to solve that problem yourself. Not only does this enhance your standing with your ex, because they realize that you can cope on your own, but it also enhances your own standing in your own head. If you figure out how to cook that favorite meal that your ex used to cook for you – you realize you can cope! If you figure out how to change the oil in your car – again you realize that you can cope!

The art to win back love is based in rationale and calmness. Only then will your ex give you the time of day. Whatever fire is burning in your heart for your ex, allowing it to run riot and influence you unduly will only be to your detriment. Calm the flames of your passion and instead use the logical! That is what will ultimately help you to win back love.

Read further in The Magic Of Making Up

Thursday, 12 November 2009

Wednesday, 11 November 2009

The Right Way To Get My Ex Boyfriend Back

Are you asking can I get my ex back, after losing your boyfriend? Just because you lost your boyfriend, it may not be over. It does not mean that you have lost him forever. In other words, the answer to can I get my ex back is yes, yes you can. But the thing that really matters before you start worrying about it determining whether you really stand a chance. Here are some tips for telling whether or not the answer to can I get my ex back is yes. Even if your ex has moved on, and has no apparent interest in you, you may still stand a chance.

The first thing that you need to do is to convince him that you're still important to him. If you're asking can I get my ex back, then you obviously don't want to lose him forever. He also needs to see that he does not want to lose you forever as well. This is the best way to see if you stand a chance or not. It may seem difficult to show him this, but it's not really that hard if you know what steps to take.

If your concern is can I get my ex back, then you should consider trying to be a good friend to your ex boyfriend first and foremost. Show him that you care about and understand his feelings. Show him that you can be in his presence without starting drama. Joke about the situation and be light hearted to show him that there are no hard feelings. Friendships are healthy and happy relationships. If you are asking can I get my ex back, then you are going to want to create a positive healthy friendship first, and see what develops or re-develops in time.

Another consideration to make when asking yourself can I get my ex back, is that communication is absolutely vital. You want to make sure that you are friendly and kind, and that you communicate well with him. Don't let him think that he can get you back all at once, though, because a little bit of playing hard to get is a good way to go. Although you are asking yourself, can I get my ex back, that does not mean you have to play as if you are desperate.

Whatever strategies you decide to pursue when addressing the question of "can I get my ex back?", it is really vital that you do not act or look desperate. You need to be able to show your ex that you are okay with everything that has transpired, and that you are capable of moving on if need be. After all, the important thing is to be friends now, and to wait and see what develops over time. Don't be afraid to have a separate romantic life from your ex, showing him that you're just fine with the breakup - As this may draw him back to you more quickly than you thought possible.

So the answer to can I get my ex back is yes, you probably can as long as you know what steps to take.

Tuesday, 10 November 2009

Face Up To Your Mistakes - To Get Back With Ex

To get back with ex after you've made mistakes, means you're no doubt going to have to face some hard home truths! As sure as eggs is eggs making mistakes in relationships means you have to fix them and apologize for those mistakes before there can be any making up.

When you decide you want to get back with ex, you must be ready to face not only what has gone wrong with the relationship, but also your part in the break down of the relationship. If you made mistakes then don't beat yourself up for that. We all make them, it's what you do after the mistake that's important.

So sit down on your own and take some time to go through what happened and what were the issues that led up to what happened. Don't concern yourself too much with what you see as your ex's mistakes, leave that for the future. Only concern yourself right now with what you can influence.

Whatever mistakes you find in your past behavior, can they be forgiven? Don't be too eager to get down on yourself and believe that your mistakes are basically unforgivable. You would be surprised at the situations that couples find themselves in and that they later recover from. So don't think that your mistakes are beyond forgiveness. There is always hope!

Try and pin point what was happening in your life at the time that led you to make the mistakes, especially if it was completely out of character for you. Remember what I said about facing hard truths, if you want to get back with ex, then you need to do this.

You might discover that you were under certain stresses and strains. Perhaps you were under threat at your job? Or you weren't physically feeling yourself? Or perhaps there were other family issues. Whatever you find when you look back at what happened, you will eventually need to sit down with your ex and explain in detail just what you have found.

If your mistakes were the result of you just being thoughtless or selfish, then this is something about you and your character that can quite easily be fixed. It will take ongoing monitoring but if you are sincerely committed to get back with ex, then it is going to be worthwhile.

When you have come to the point where you have begun to gain perspective about your mistakes, then call your ex and arrange to meet. It is usually better to arrange a face to face meeting somewhere public and neutral because then there is less chance of either of you becoming emotional.

So, make sure that you stay calm and focused on what you want to say. Apologize and ask for forgiveness and then listen carefully to what your ex has to say.

Monday, 9 November 2009

Don't Let It End - Please Stop My Divorce

If you are going through that terrible time when your love feels like it is coming to an end and you find yourself pleading, "Someone, please stop my divorce!" you aren't alone. There are many who have gone through it and saved their marriage and plenty who didn't but found themselves happy again afterward. There are things that you can do to help stop a divorce or correct problems before they get to that point.

First realize, though, that as much as you may want to save your relationship you may not be able to. Make sure that you prepare yourself mentally for any possible outcome. This isn't thinking pessimistically, it is being realistic which is what you need to be.

Make use of family therapy or seek out marriage counselors. They have been well trained and have lots of experience helping people go through these times. Even if there is adultery involved, they will be able to help. Many marriages have been brought back from the edge because of counseling and therapy. They are accustomed to dealing with infidelity between spouses, depression, or any other things that stress a relationship to the point of divorce. Marriage counseling doesn't have to be expensive, there are plenty of good choices for you to use to get good relationship advice before you see a divorce lawyer.

One thing that you can learn not to do that may help stop your divorce before you ever get an attorney involved is don't argue. Arguing will only make the situation worse. You can try calling it reasoning or what ever but the truth is you are trying to force them to feel differently than they do. If you are serious and you want to "stop my divorce" then realize that your battle is against your separation, not your spouse. The more you argue with them and try to point out where they are wrong the more they will be wrong in your mind.

Don't try to defend yourself. You may be right, but don't try to convince them of that. Find the truth in their argument and agree with that. The more you can agree with the things they say, the more they will be right. This will only make them see that you are willing to do what you want them to do, see your side of the story. If you are willing to be honest and accept what they are trying to say then they will more likely be open to listening to your side. Marriage counseling is great at helping you understand how to communicate better if you really want to "stop my divorce."

This is only one part of the things that you can do to help when you are wanting someone to help you "stop my divorce". Quit talking about it and start acting on it. Your marriage will only have a chance to survive if you are willing to act.

Sunday, 8 November 2009

I Dumped Boyfriend And Now I Want Him Back

So you were dating a guy you really liked and then one day you noticed a tiny little issue about him that you didn't really like and you dumped boyfriend! Just like that! Out of the blue! But have you really dug down deep to try and understand why you dumped boyfriend?

Perhaps you've told yourself that it was the way he ate his food? Or the way he laughed or perhaps even something as earth shattering as the way that he walked? Whatever it was that made you turn around and end up with a dumped boyfriend, why are you regretting it now because now, you want him back. But here's the thing he wants nothing to do with you and everything that you've tried so far to get him back, has failed.

Well, have you tried just leaving him alone for a while? Because pretty much you've hurt his feelings big time and he's doubtless feeling humiliated. If you've been calling him 24/7 and he's just not picking up, then that's a clear indication that he needs you to leave him alone.

So instead of bombarding him with text messages and calls, give him some space and take a look at the real hidden reasons that might have caused you to wake up one morning with a dumped boyfriend.

Truth is some girls have been known to 'test' the relationship by ending it to see if their boyfriends will put up a fight for them and the relationship. If this is what you did, then this is basically flawed behavior. Not only that, ask yourself why you would even want to put someone who you clearly have feelings for through the upset of a breakup?

Usually anyone who tries to manipulate someone to this extreme, has deep rooted self-esteem issues that they should really think about working out. Your self-esteem is really the inner you. If you are suffering from low self-esteem then the little voice in your head often shouts negativity at you and tells you that you are just not good enough. Take the time to address this and you will be far happier.

To win back a dumped boyfriend you're going to have to clearly work on yourself. No self-respecting boyfriend wants to be around someone who is high maintenance and doesn't know her own mind. In future, make sure you're one hundred per cent sure about what you are doing and why you are doing it.

Instead of dumping the guy, why not sit and talk to him about your fears and your insecurities. He will think more of you if you are honest with him, rather than if you simply lash out on a whim and dump him for what appears to be no good reason.

Saturday, 7 November 2009

VIDEO - 7 STAGES OF MARRIAGE -- Stage 1: Passion

Now that you've seen the 7 STAGES OF MARRIAGE interview, discover which stage you're in. This video explains Stage 1: Passion.

Friday, 6 November 2009

Helping You and Your Boyfriend Get Back Together

You want you and your boyfriend to get back together. Do you feel lost without him? Are you feeling lonely now that he is gone? Are you desperate to get him back? If you want you and your boyfriend to get back together then you may need to change the way you approach him and the situation. If things went very fast and marriage seemed like a sure thing, he may have gotten scared off.

It could very well be that he felt smothered and didn't have enough space or didn't feel like he was in control, of his future. It could also be that you are pressuring him too much now and all he wants is to be away from you. Hopefully this is the case but if you push too much it very well could be. If what you want is you and your boyfriend get back together you have to be aware of this.

Your boyfriend may be like many males and thrive on being independent. They need their space from time to time. While the idea of marriage and commitment may have seemed appealing to them for a moment, reality could have set in and now they are feeling trapped. Males very often need to feel in charge. They need to feel in charge of not only themselves, but of situations.

If things start getting fast they don't feel so in control anymore. Once marriage or long term commitment starts getting discussed it is easy to feel that you are getting sucked into something if you don't feel ready. If they feel they aren't ready, they most likely aren't. If they feel like they are getting pushed down a road they don't think they want to go yet, they may push themselves away.

If he has pushed himself away and you really want you and your boyfriend get back together you are likely going to have to be secretive and sensitive about it. You will have to decide that you don't want to force him down the road. You want him to just walk with you and let him feel he is taking the lead. He needs to feel like he is choosing this direction.

Since there is no direction right now and you are dealing with a break up, now is actually a good time to get started back down that path. He may feel free and clear of you and to an extent very well may be. If he has any desire to talk with you and you are still on a friendly basis, just be available, but not too available. If he is going to call you, make it seem like you are hard to get on the phone. If he wants to make some plans with you, turn him down at first but ask for a rain check. The goal is to make him seem like he is pursuing you. Let him be in the hunt.

Also let him have something to hunt for. Sometimes the things most desired are the things that are hard to get. Those will also be the things that makes them more likely to go in for the kill which is what you want him to do. You want him to commit and if you make yourself someone worth hunting and let yourself be hunted and not necessarily caught, you may see you and your boyfriend get back together.

Thursday, 5 November 2009

I Dumped Girlfriend And I Want Her Back

If you dumped girlfriend and you want her back, then you're going to have to move fast but not so fast that you make the classic mistakes that guys make when they're trying desperately to get back with their exs.

If you want to get her back then I bet you've been sending her expensive gifts, trying desperately to get her attention and prove something to her about how you feel. Chances are none of that has worked, because to be honest it's pretty old hat and your girlfriend wants to see something more honest and much more innovative from you.

A dumped girlfriend is likely out to make you jump through a few hoops before she takes you back, even if she desperately wants you back. And if you did dump her, it's going to be hard to argue against her feeling that way.

You've without a doubt greatly hurt her feelings and her pride and she's going to exact some revenge for that. Depending on how desperate you are to get her back will tell you the level to which you'll be prepared to put up with what she throws at you.

If she needs you to explain what you did and why you did it, then you better take some time to figure it out in your own head and be sincere when you sit down to explain it to her.

If she needs an apology from you and a sound promise from you that you will never do it again, then you're going to have to do that.

Maybe you panicked as you saw the relationship deepening and getting more and more serious. It's a pretty common feature for some guys and to suddenly feel as they are feeling smothered and overwhelmed in a relationship and instead of sitting down with their girlfriends, they panic. Before you know it, they have a dumped girlfriend and they're living with regret. So perhaps this is the situation that you have to explain to your ex girlfriend. If it is, again, be honest.

What you must guard against in a situation where you were clearly in the wrong and you over reacted, is that you don't become her punching bag. Don't allow her to use you as an emotional vessel into which she pours out all her frustrations and anger just because she can. So doormat out, understanding and apologetic guy in!

Chances are if the two of you still have feelings for each other, you will get her back after you dumped girlfriend, but you have to be clear that you're happy to try again and not simply reacting to feeling bad about the way you treated her.

Wednesday, 4 November 2009

Look After Yourself To Win Back A Love

Understanding how to win back a love lost is something that we are not taught. So when the time comes and we need to actually make up with someone who's walked out on us, someone we still love, it can be a frustrating hit and miss affair. So here's your chance to once and for all, discover how to win back your love.

Don't make the mistake of chasing after your ex, especially if the breakup is fresh and raw. If the drama of what went on is still ringing in your ears then you need to back off and give your ex some space. Pursuing them now will only do two things: drive them further away and make your job of winning them back that much harder. So stop all communication with your ex and walk away.

While you're away from your ex you should ideally spend a good amount of that time looking after yourself and being kind to yourself. Even if you made a big mistake that caused the breakup, you still need to forgive yourself and be kind to yourself. To win back a love you need to be firing on top form and sitting home night after night feeling sorry for yourself won't do.

So get out and about and find your old friends and have some fun with them. If you need to make new friends, then do that. Not only will doing this keep you occupied and stop you being tempted to contact your ex, but it will also go a long way to boosting your self-esteem and self-confidence. Both of which you're going to need big time to win back a love who's walked out.

Another good tip is to take some regular exercise. I know not everyone cares for the gym, but it doesn't have to be such an obvious choice. Think about regular walks, a dancing class or a regular swim. Whichever exercise routine you decide is right for you, by taking exercise you will be releasing endorphins and endorphins are known to foster all round feelings of good health, encourage and boost energy, help you with your focus and keep your weight under control. All of which are crucial to keep you believing that you can win back a love and help you make the right decisions to do so.

It's the easiest thing in the world to get dumped and find that you're sitting around doing nothing but gaining weight and losing your confidence, so follow through on what's been laid out here and your chances of success are set.

Tuesday, 3 November 2009

Easy Steps To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back

Just how long or how quickly has it taken you to figure out that you want to find out how to get your ex girlfriend back? Some guys find out the minute their girlfriends walk out on them that they want them back. Other guys don't really find out until they're dating someone else only to discover that 'something's missing' with the new girl. How to get your ex girlfriend back under whatever time lapse, involves the same steps. It can be quick and it can be easy, if you follow some basic steps.

Keep yourself looking smart and fit.

It's really easy when you feel down and stressed to find yourself eating the wrong foods and not taking care of yourself. You'd be surprised how quick it is to pile on the pounds in a matter of weeks of self-indulgence. So stop feeling sorry for yourself and get down to the gym or over to the football field with a few of the guys.

If you want to know how to get your ex girlfriend back then after you've had a kick around with the guys, go shower and change and get out on the town and enjoy yourself. It won't necessarily do your chances of getting back with your ex any harm if you casually date another girl.

Remember, you're not actually in a relationship with your ex, you might want to be, but until that dream is an actual, you're a free agent. But don't set out to hurt some other girl just because you want to make your ex jealous or just because you're thinking about yourself. Just make it clear to the girl that you're just interested in some fun and nothing more.

Get everything that happened in your past relationship into perspective.

There's no point fooling yourself about what went wrong in the relationship. You need to come at this situation with fresh and clear honesty if any reconciliation is going to be effective and long lasting. So if you have mistakes to own up to, if you're sure you want to understand how to get your ex girlfriend back, make sure that you accept your part in the break down of your relationship.

When you're feeling emotionally secure and you've thought through the relationship and have a healthy perspective, make contact with your ex and talk to her.

You don't at this point want to put any pressure on her. You simply want to spend a couple of minutes on the phone with her weighing up where she's at and whether you think she's in an approachable mood. Depending on what you deduce, you either ask for a second chance or you retreat and give it more time.

Get more information in The Magic Of Making Up

Sunday, 1 November 2009