Showing posts with label marry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marry. Show all posts

Sunday, 3 January 2010

Ending A Relationship: 3 Basic Guidelines

When ending a relationship, it's important to know how to end a relationship properly and whether you should be ending a relationship. Not every relationship that has problems needs to end, and not every relationship that has ended needs to stay that way. The trick is having the knowledge to make the right decision.

Some relationships truly do need to end. If your partner is abusing you, you need to get out of the relationship as soon as possible. If you're on other side, and you're having trouble controlling your temper, then you're obligated to break up with the other person for both of your sakes.
Aside from the obvious, when should you consider ending a relationship? When it's clear to you that the two of you no longer want the same things in a relationship. If the other person wants to get married and you don't, that's a sign. When you find yourself moved to cheat on them with someone else, that's a sign.

Ending a relationship shouldn't follow a big fight. This is how good relationships end up being broken apart when there's no reason they had to. When considering breaking it off with the other person, you need to have a clear head about the entire relationship.

Once you decided to break it off, you need to do it the right way so that you can both move on. There are three basic guidelines you need to follow:

Don't Play Games - Nobody likes to break up with someone. That's normal, but there's a temptation to try and make the other person do the dirty work in ending a relationship. Mostly subconsciously, we pick fights and play games to try and antagonize the other person into breaking up with us.

This is a trap you need to avoid. Be direct, be honest and be proactive; make sure you treat the other person with respect. Trying to goad them into breaking up with you will simply make you both miserable.

Do it in Person - Breaking up is a very painful experience for both parties. It is very tempting to bring the relationship to the end by email or phone or, these days, text message. That way, you don't have to see the look on their face or if you leave a message, without even talking to him.

But obviously, this is no way to end a relationship. If you do not interact with the other person will breaking up, you won't have any kind of closure. This defeats the entire point of making a clean break. Do both of you a favor and break up in person in a relatively private place.

Be Honest - You need to tell the other person exactly why you are ending the relationship. This isn't easy, because they will have tendency to try and talk you out of it, but the truth is that lying to them about the reasons doesn't help either of you. Be honest, even if they don't want to hear it.

If you follow these three tips, you will find ending a relationship to be a much smoother, much more effective process. Be aware, though, that along the way, you might find that the problems you have are fixable. If this is the case, you need to find some resources to help you mend and repair the relationship.

Saturday, 1 August 2009

One Of The Best Relationship Advice For Men

What is the best relationship advice for men? What should men know if they want a relationship to work for the long haul?

Probably the single biggest piece of relationship advice for men is to stop listening to what women say they want and start observing what women actually display that they want.

How do they display what they want? It is as simple as observing what kind of men they choose.
Women say “I want a man who listens to me.” They choose the man who dominates the conversation. Women say, “I want a guy with a good sense of humor.” They date the guy who has money.

Why do women say they want one thing but actually go out with a guy who is just the opposite? The answer to that question lies in the subconscious motivators for getting together. And, therein lies my relationship advice for men.

The historical, biological reason for men and women to get together is to propagate the species. In other words, just because getting pregnant may be the last thing on her conscious mind, when she evaluates a man at the subconscious level, she’s still looking for a good papa for her children.
Is the good dad someone who listens to her? No, it is someone who will provide for her children. And, the person who can provide for her children is someone who has the confidence to bring home the food.

Women need men who can be good providers. While a man can produce thousands of sperm on repeated occasions throughout their adult lives, even into their 90’s, women have about 400 chances of producing a baby. As a result, they are looking for a man who can provide longevity and stability for their babies.

A man who tells a women he is a lawyer and not a paralegal will have a better chance of landing her. That is because she perceives that a lawyer is a better provider for her future children.
But having a good income is not enough. A woman needs to perceive that a man is generous with his resources and will provide for her children. That is why women place such a high value on gifts such as jewelry.

It may also be why the engagement ring must be such a large purchase. When you ask a woman to marry you, you give her a ring, not just because it is traditional and romantic, but because it is a tangible display that you can provide for her and her children.

Further, even though modern humans make money more from their brains than their brawn, women are still programmed to think of strength equaling the ability to provide. That’s why, even when there is evidence to the contrary in the form of a tax return, the woman is hardwired to choose the lineman over the computer geek.

So, the biggest piece of relationship advice for men is to figure out what women need from an evolutionary point of view and give it to her.


To find out more just read "The Magic Of Making Up"