If you don’t want divorce there are three specific things you can do to stop it.
These tips won’t work in every situation—some relationships are too far gone. But most relationships start having troubles long before they reach this point, thankfully.
When you don’t want divorce but your partner does, try being quiet for a while. Just don’t say anything. Stop complaining. The worst thing you can do is to carry on about how you don’t want to get divorced.
You can let your partner know that you don’t want the divorce. And that’s about all you can do. Perhaps you could reassure them that couples go through this kind of thing all the time and are still together today. Just don’t do it more than once.
If you carry on and carry on about how you want to stay together, you’ll probably just annoy your partner, making it less likely for him to be open to the idea of staying together. The whole point is to make yourself extra desirable to your partner again.
It’s unlikely he or she finds you particularly desirable when you’re complaining and whining about inconsequential things. That tendency to complain and even nag may have had something to do with why the relationship broke up in the first place, remember.
You want to show your very best side to your partner at all times. When you started dating this person, you were probably on your own very best behavior. Everyone does that to win a mate’s heart. Then as things start to stagnate a little because the mate is won and there’s no need to compete with others anymore, the tendency to whine and complain begins.
Stop this immediately and go back to your very best “going to win them” courting behavior. That is often such a switch from the way things were in the beginning, that it seems almost too good to be true.
Going hand in hand with taking care not to complain or nag is learning to simply be agreeable. We tend to take our partner for granted and when he or she suggests something we’re not happy with, we make it known. If we do that too often it can start to seem to our partner that they can’t do or say anything right!
If you don’t want divorce then learn to agree with your partner even when you don’t want to. That might sound a little extreme, but you’re in rescue mode right now. You just want to do everything you can to save the marriage. It doesn’t’ mean that you’ll never be able to disagree with them for the rest of your life.
You need to learn to not whine, to agree and to do it all with a smile on your face. If you don’t want divorce you’ll have to do these things for at least a little while.