Wednesday, 2 December 2009

When To End A Relationship

If you’re wondering when to end a relationship, then you’re faced with a hard decision. After you’ve invested time with another person, it’s never easy to say goodbye. This is true if you’ve been together 3 months, 3 years, or more. But sometimes learning when to end your relationship is the best thing you can do for both of you.

If you really love the person you’re with, you might wonder when to end a relationship and why. You might think that just because you love him or her, you should stay and work things out. And very often it is worth a try.

Many people give up on their relationships before they’ve really tried to fix them. Because it’s difficult, they throw in the towel instead of working on their problems. This is unfortunate, because many people could probably be happy together if only they weren’t afraid to try.
And other people have problem after problem and keeping working hard when most people think they should just give up. It’s as if these people are gluttons for punishment. Their partner keeps cheating on them and they keep taking him back. Or their partner keeps making other mistakes and letting them down.

It seems they don’t know when to end a relationship. But usually it’s that they’re simply afraid of being alone and moving on.

There are obvious situations that should tell you when to end a relationship. If your partner is abusive, it’s time to get out, no excuses. If you don’t feel safe, even down to feeling like you’ll have something to eat and be secure, then you should move on.

Other things are less sure. If your partner has cheated, for instance, does that always mean it’s time to leave? Some people can get past one mistake like that. They sometimes end up with a stronger relationship after the affair.

But more often they really never get past the betrayal. Even if it never happens again, the one who was cheated on can’t let go of the hurt. And the one who cheated will eventually get tired of the suspicion and guilt.

If there has been cheating in your relationship, it’s not easy to decide if it should end. You should really talk about everything involved. From trust to fear of it happening again, it should all be put on the table in an honest discussion.

How about if you feel like cheating? If you have a really strong desire to be with someone else, should you end it? These types of feelings are natural. You can even have fantasies about other people. But if you’re constantly thinking that you’d be better of with someone else, maybe you really would be.

If you love your partner and you’ve tried different ways of working it out, step back. How have you really tried? For how long? When to end a relationship isn’t always easy to see, but if you know you’ve done everything and it’s still not working, it may be time to go.

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