Relationship Questions You Need To Ask

If you want to fix your relationship, then you need to ask the right question. Relationship repair can be tricky in the best of times, which is why you need to know the right questions, relationship questions, to get the information you need to repair what has been broken.

This is not necessarily an easy thing to do. Most of us won't want to ask these questions, relationship problems or not. This is because the natural human reaction to things is to try and avoid the problem as much as possible.

But relationship problems will not fix themselves. You need to make the effort to fix them, not wait for your ex to magically come around. You are the one who has realized there is a problem, and this means that you have to be the one to do the work to fix it. Whether you like it or not, it's become your responsibility.

Which brings us to the questions. Relationship questions are not easy to ask, but the answers will be worthwhile. This is the information you need to do the work that will bring you back to having a healthy relationship with your girlfriend or boyfriend, husband or wife.

Question One: What Do You Want?

This is a question you need to ask yourself and your significant other. You need to ask yourself because you need to be able to know and articulate what it is you want from your relationship. You need to ask them so that you know that the things you want from the relationship are, if not the same, then at least compatible.

Question Two: What Were Our Best Times?

This is another question designed to get you looking at how the two of you view your relationship. If you both view different times in your relationship as the best times, this will give you a very strong indication of where things went wrong, which is the point of these questions. Relationship is based on knowing what these questions will tell you.

Question Three: What Don't You Like?

Again, this is a question both of you need to ask. This is an area where it is crucial that you don't assign blame or allow your emotions to be hurt. You need to take a full inventory of where you stand and knowing what it bothering both of you is essential.

Question Four: Where are we Heading?

The point of this is question is to see where you both think the relationship should and where it will go. Without knowing this, you won't know how bad the relationship is. If your partner thinks that the relationship is doomed to failure, this is information you need to know.

The point of doing all this is to find the true answers to these questions. Relationship rescue will be much easier when you have this information, because it will give a roadmap of the problems you need to resolve to have a stronger relationship. This is only the beginning, and you should seek out and find the information that will allow you to overcome these problems.

Define Your Relationship

If you want to have a healthy relationship, you need to define the relationship. One of the biggest reasons that relationships have problems is because both people in the relationship have different expectations and assumptions about what kind of relationship they're in.

Frankly, if you think you're on the road to marriage and happily ever after and your boyfriend or girlfriend thinks that's what you have is a nice light fling, you are going to have problems. Hurt emotions, broken hearts and generally misery tend to lie in the future for people who fail to define the relationship they're in.

The problem is that everyone, and I mean everyone, tends to think of everything they do as normal. This is a problem because there is no such thing as normal. Every person is a unique bundle of needs, fears, and desires. The strengths and weaknesses that make us who we are make the need to define the relationship essential.

Whether we realize it or not, we are all using ourselves as the baseline for behavior. This means that on some very essential levels, we assume that other people want what we want, feel what we feel. Most of us are aware that this isn't the case on a conscious level, but it's hard to put this into action all the time.

As long as things seem to be going okay, we have a tendency to let this go on more and more. After all, when they seem happy and you seem happy, there's no reason to examine your assumptions and expectations. Most of us only do that when things have gone wrong in a relationship.

This why the need to define the relationship early on is so great. Because other people are, well, other people. They may be happy in the relationship, but they may be happy for different reasons. If you let this go too far, you may be setting yourself up for resentment and pain.

By taking the time to define the relationship, you are taking the reins in the relationship. You will be able to see where you are and where you are heading. This will allow you to have a healthier, stronger relationship because you will both be pulling in the same direction rather than going off in two different emotional directions until the strain on the relationship is so great that it breaks.

The problem with taking action to define the relationship is that it's not the comfortable path to take. The conversations can be awkward, and there's always an element of fear that the two of you will have such radically different expectations and goals that the relationship may end.

These are false worries, for the most part. You need to look at the effort to define the relationship as being exercise for your relationship: it may be tough and there's a small chance that you may get injured, but the truth is that it will almost always make the relationship better and stronger.

If you need help in figuring out what you need to do to define the relationship, there is loads of help available. This is one of the best things you can do to build a strong relationship, and it is well worth the effort.

Find out more in The Magic Of Making Up

4 Great Lessons From Relationships Experts

If you’ve read or listened to relationships experts, you know that some of what they say is just common sense. They tell us things we already know, but they’re great at putting it into words and examples that make things easier to understand. The best relationships experts just know how to communicate.


They can take those common sense things and say them in a way that makes you “get it.” Like the concept of what to expect and what to give in a relationship. This is one of the best lessons you can get from relationships experts.

Very often we go along in a relationship and as time goes on we start to take the other person for granted a little bit. We don’t thank them as much, and sometimes we don’t do nice things in return for them quite as much.

It’s not that we don’t want to, but that we simply forget or think there will be time later. After the relationship hit a rocky period and ended and you’ve gotten back together, remember to be thoughtful and kind becomes very important. Relationships experts stress that as a good way to keep a relationship strong.

A second great lesson from the experts is to do what the other person will appreciate. This is another great common sense lesson that’s all too easy to overlook. It applies to anytime during a relationship but after you’ve gotten back together from a break up or other bad patch it’s even more important.

To do what the other person wants doesn’t mean you should never consider yourself. But you should try to do what appeals to them to show them that you care. If it really makes you happy when your boyfriend helps you wash the dishes, then maybe if you helped him with some housework that would make him feel loved, too.

But there may be ways he likes to feel loved that are different. He might be the type of person who likes to hear you say it often, or likes romantic gestures. Even if those things aren’t as important to you, you need to do the things that are special to him.

Sometimes we forget that, or we just assume that everyone responds to the same things. But doing what makes the other person feel most special is easy to do, as long as we remind ourselves to do it.

And a lesson that the experts teach that often goes forgotten is respect. Of course, you respect your boyfriend or girlfriend, but does it always show? This is part of taking them for granted but it goes beyond not thanking them or returning loving gestures.

Often, the person we’re closest to gets the brunt our worst days. We might be late for something and keep them waiting, or we might just accidentally be inconsiderate and not apologize enough. Take a lesson from the relationships experts and ask yourself if you treat your partner with the same respect you would treat a parents or co-worker.

I Dumped Boyfriend And Now I Want Him Back

So you were dating a guy you really liked and then one day you noticed a tiny little issue about him that you didn't really like and you dumped boyfriend! Just like that! Out of the blue! But have you really dug down deep to try and understand why you dumped boyfriend?

Perhaps you've told yourself that it was the way he ate his food? Or the way he laughed or perhaps even something as earth shattering as the way that he walked? Whatever it was that made you turn around and end up with a dumped boyfriend, why are you regretting it now because now, you want him back. But here's the thing he wants nothing to do with you and everything that you've tried so far to get him back, has failed.

Well, have you tried just leaving him alone for a while? Because pretty much you've hurt his feelings big time and he's doubtless feeling humiliated. If you've been calling him 24/7 and he's just not picking up, then that's a clear indication that he needs you to leave him alone.

So instead of bombarding him with text messages and calls, give him some space and take a look at the real hidden reasons that might have caused you to wake up one morning with a dumped boyfriend.

Truth is some girls have been known to 'test' the relationship by ending it to see if their boyfriends will put up a fight for them and the relationship. If this is what you did, then this is basically flawed behavior. Not only that, ask yourself why you would even want to put someone who you clearly have feelings for through the upset of a breakup?

Usually anyone who tries to manipulate someone to this extreme, has deep rooted self-esteem issues that they should really think about working out. Your self-esteem is really the inner you. If you are suffering from low self-esteem then the little voice in your head often shouts negativity at you and tells you that you are just not good enough. Take the time to address this and you will be far happier.

To win back a dumped boyfriend you're going to have to clearly work on yourself. No self-respecting boyfriend wants to be around someone who is high maintenance and doesn't know her own mind. In future, make sure you're one hundred per cent sure about what you are doing and why you are doing it.

Instead of dumping the guy, why not sit and talk to him about your fears and your insecurities. He will think more of you if you are honest with him, rather than if you simply lash out on a whim and dump him for what appears to be no good reason.

Helping You and Your Boyfriend Get Back Together

You want you and your boyfriend to get back together. Do you feel lost without him? Are you feeling lonely now that he is gone? Are you desperate to get him back? If you want you and your boyfriend to get back together then you may need to change the way you approach him and the situation. If things went very fast and marriage seemed like a sure thing, he may have gotten scared off.

It could very well be that he felt smothered and didn't have enough space or didn't feel like he was in control, of his future. It could also be that you are pressuring him too much now and all he wants is to be away from you. Hopefully this is the case but if you push too much it very well could be. If what you want is you and your boyfriend get back together you have to be aware of this.

Your boyfriend may be like many males and thrive on being independent. They need their space from time to time. While the idea of marriage and commitment may have seemed appealing to them for a moment, reality could have set in and now they are feeling trapped. Males very often need to feel in charge. They need to feel in charge of not only themselves, but of situations.

If things start getting fast they don't feel so in control anymore. Once marriage or long term commitment starts getting discussed it is easy to feel that you are getting sucked into something if you don't feel ready. If they feel they aren't ready, they most likely aren't. If they feel like they are getting pushed down a road they don't think they want to go yet, they may push themselves away.

If he has pushed himself away and you really want you and your boyfriend get back together you are likely going to have to be secretive and sensitive about it. You will have to decide that you don't want to force him down the road. You want him to just walk with you and let him feel he is taking the lead. He needs to feel like he is choosing this direction.

Since there is no direction right now and you are dealing with a break up, now is actually a good time to get started back down that path. He may feel free and clear of you and to an extent very well may be. If he has any desire to talk with you and you are still on a friendly basis, just be available, but not too available. If he is going to call you, make it seem like you are hard to get on the phone. If he wants to make some plans with you, turn him down at first but ask for a rain check. The goal is to make him seem like he is pursuing you. Let him be in the hunt.

Also let him have something to hunt for. Sometimes the things most desired are the things that are hard to get. Those will also be the things that makes them more likely to go in for the kill which is what you want him to do. You want him to commit and if you make yourself someone worth hunting and let yourself be hunted and not necessarily caught, you may see you and your boyfriend get back together.

If He Wants More Space...

Almost everyone has experienced a powerful relationship in their life, when suddenly everything which seems so perfectly is broken off because your boyfriend wants space. There are a number of different reasons for why a boyfriend may suddenly need space, including family problems, insecurities, or a fear of commitment just to name a few.

Here are some tips for answering the age old "how to get my ex back" question if your ex boyfriend needs more space.

- You are not going to want to lose your pride, or to allow him to get the best of you - But clearly you are still in love with him. It may be ideal to play a little bit hard to get at first, in order to show him that yes, it was his loss and not your own.

- If you are feeling like your ex boyfriend still has feelings for you, then it may be ideal for you to strike up a conversation with him. Keep communication to a minimum in order to keep the level of drama to a minimum. Short text messages, brief phone calls and online conversations in passing are all a great way to remind him how much he wants to be a part of your life without overwhelming him with your presence when he may actually want and need space.

- Eventually he will begin to show significant interest in you again if all goes well, and this will give you the chance to truly begin to reminisce with him. Keep in mind that you should focus primarily on all of the good memories associated with your relationship in the past. While rekindling a relationship with your ex boyfriend, you are going to want to stay away from the bad experiences and negative experiences in case they conjure bad feelings and undo your hard work.

- If your boyfriend is not responding to your slow and subtle advances, you need to take it for what it is. Either he just really is not interested in you right now, or he really does just need space and you should give it to him. But if on the other hand he seems to be interested in you more than before, or is slowly warming up to you again, then you should continue gradually advancing on him to rekindle the relationship.

- If your ex boyfriend is giving you the right signals, you can try to open your heart up to him. Let him know how you feel, but avoid looking desperate or needy in the process. If your ex is showing you that he is thinking about rekindling things, then it would be healthy to be open with him. But if his signals are pointing in the other direction, it may be wiser to step back and let things happen more naturally.

These are just the beginning steps in winning your ex back. And frankly these aren't my original ideas. T 'Dub' Jackson authored a simple, down to earth step by step plan called "The Magic Of Making Up". And you know, it can work like magic for you.

How To Get My Ex Back With A Confident Attitude

Although a breakup with a boyfriend or with a girlfriend can be really depressing, it does not need to mean that the relationship is over. Even if the breakup should suddenly leave you feeling confusion and loneliness, you may still feel really eager to heal the wounds and jump right back in to that relationship with your ex. If you are asking yourself "How can I get my ex back?", then there are some things you need to know. If you learn how to react following a break up, and you become aware of how not to strain the relationship even further, then getting ex back will be easier than ever.

It can seem hard to keep up a cheerful attitude throughout your day following a breakup, but it is believed by relationship experts that an optimistic and confident attitude can go a long way. Here are some of the ways that a confident attitude can answer the question "how can I get my ex back?"

Keep your confidence - If you are asking "how can I get my ex back?", then you should remain confident. Rather than going around feeling gloomy, try to find ways that you can keep yourself occupied and happy. Keep the depression out of your demeanor. Allow your ex boyfriend or girlfriend to know that you are strong and that you are more than capable of handling such an emotional situation, and also that you are capable of surviving on your own as well.

Remain socially active - If getting your ex back is your primary focus, surround yourself with well wishers, positive attitudes and good friends. Show your ex that people appreciate you, and that they love having you around. As more people begin to feel good about your presence in their lives, your ex will begin to see you in a completely new light. He or she will realize that yes, you are a good person that they simply cannot afford to let go off. This is one of the best ways to let your ex notice you in a new light.

Maintain a good appearance - Another solution to "How can I get my ex back?" is not to let your appearance reflect your situation. You need to pay attention to every detail of your looks, including your clothes, your make up, your hair, your stride, your shoes and even your voice. It can be hard to act happy or to take care of yourself following a bad breakup, but this is one of the best ways that you can let your ex know that you are doing just fine, and do not need to beg for his or her sympathy.

You are going to get back together like adults who are mature and responsible if you are going to get back together at all.

Read more advice and tips in The Magic Of Making Up

How To Make A Rebound Relationship To Work In Your Favor

If you have broken up with the love of your life and she is in a rebound relationship, how do you get her back?

A rebound relationship is one where she is dating someone else to get over you. Rebound relationships keep people from having to deal with the emotions of breaking up. They’re used to help people move on from a real love.

And that’s the key to getting your ex back. She’s in a rebound relationship to deal with losing you.

It does not matter why she lost you. It doesn’t matter if it is your fault or hers. It doesn’t even matter who actually called the relationship off. What matters is that you have a real love.
Because virtually all relationships founded on real love can be saved.

If she’s in a rebound relationship, she will be focusing on what is wrong with your relationship. If you were a “good guy” she’ll probably be hanging out with a “bad boy.” If you were into philosophy, he’ll be watching Monday Night Football. Or, vice versa.

The fact that she is actually focusing on the differences in your styles is actually good for you for two reasons. Her attention is still focused on you even when she’s with the new guy. And, it gives you a chance to see what she’s looking for.

If she’s with someone as different from you as possible, it means that she was missing something in your relationship. You can use the time she’s with rebound man to improve yourself.

Let the rebound relationship run its course. Because, as she spends time with the new guy, she’ll start to see the flaws in him. After a month or so with rebound man, you’ll start to look pretty good.

That’s why you don’t want to crawl back to her right away. Let her develop the idea that she misses the good things in the relationship. When she’s ready to make a move, be magnanimous. Welcome her back graciously. Be a new and improved boyfriend, but don’t do the chasing.

Here are some specific steps to take when your ex is in a rebound relationship:

· Don’t try to convince her that you are the love of her life. Let her discover this on her own.

· Don’t apologize profusely. If you did something wrong, you can say you’re sorry. Once. But move on. She knows the real reason she loves you.

· Don’t make promises to change. You are who you are and that’s who she fell in love with.

· Don’t try to make her see that it wasn’t your fault. She will come to appreciate that over time – but only if you haven’t made her invest energy in defending her position that it was your fault.

· Never, ever beg her to take you back.

When you ex starts going out with someone just after you break up, she’s in a rebound relationship. You can make up with her and get back together. Don’t despair. The rebound relationship is a sign that she’s still in love with you.

To learn more CLICK The Magic Of Making Up

A Girls' Step-By-Step Guide To Making Up

How do you get guy back? How do you convince him that what the two of you had together was special?

First of all, you have to recognize that whatever happened, you were both at fault. If you cheated, he wasn’t giving you what you needed so you looked elsewhere. If he cheated, you were the one not giving what he needed. Yes, the cheater is morally culpable for the cheating. The moral responsibility does not lie with the person who was cheated upon. But the fault lies in both party’s laps.

Given that, it is important to forgive and forget. True forgiveness means that you let go of all of the anger related to the incident. You never bring it up again. You never let it cloud your relationship. If you cannot do this, you won’t get guy back for any period of time.

If you were the person at fault, apologize – and mean it. Too many times, after people say “I’m sorry,” there’s an “Oops, I did it again,” moment. You’re not Britney Spears. It’s not cute. When you say you are sorry, you have to commit to changing. Otherwise, you don’t mean it and you won’t get guy back.

Be prepared to chase him a little bit. This doesn’t mean sending him hundreds of text messages or stalking him, but you have got to show him that you are still interested if you want to get guy back. You can’t expect him to come running back just because you have sent out some modest signals that you are ready to re-start the relationship. Put your ego in check and put your heart on the line.

You may have to settle for something less than you wanted. It may be that he is only ready to be friends when you want a full fledged boyfriend. It may take time to rebuild the trust. If this is the case, you need to give him the space he needs to get to know you again. Accept that you have to take what he is offering right now if you want to eventually get guy back.

Finally, you have to know when to give up on the get guy back strategy. Sometimes, you just have to move on. If your boyfriend is unable to forgive you, you are in a position where the best thing you can do is move on and enter into new relationships. While this will break your heart right now, it may be the best thing that could have happened to you. Whatever went wrong in this relationship, your soul mate is still out there. Get guy back may stop you from meeting him!

Learn more tips in The Magic Of Making Up

When You Have An Ex Boyfriend To Get Back

If you have an ex boyfriend to get back, you might have already tried several things to get him to come back to you. You might have begged, pleaded, promised to change your ways, and even gone so far as to break up a new relationship he might be having. It’s important to remember at all times how you appear to him. It’s going to be hard to get him back if you look childish or scheming.

Try to think of any behaviors like that you’ve displayed since you broke up, and stop them now. Whatever you’ve been doing obviously isn’t working or you’d be back together already. If you’ve been following him around and showing up everywhere he appears out with friends or on a date, your behavior probably seems more like that of a stalker than someone who loves him. When you have an ex boyfriend to get back, things you’re doing to convince him to be with you might be the things that are keeping him away.

Next time you end up in the same place together, whether it’s a restaurant or a club, when you walk in and see him, do acknowledge him. But instead of going up to him and demanding his attention as you might have done before, simply say hello and go about your business in another part of the room, or explain that since he’s there, you’ll leave to make him more comfortable. Be nice and polite and simply go. If nothing else, the change in your behavior will get him thinking.

When you have an ex boyfriend to get back, doing what isn’t expected is important if you’ve been trying unsuccessfully for a while. If you’ve been calling him 10 times a day, or even 3, stop. Call when you really need something, not just to rehash why he should take you back. If you don’t have reason to call, then simply don’t call. After a week or so, give him a call just to say hello and that you were thinking about him. Ask if he’s doing all right, and a few simple questions like that.

If he starts to sound suspicious wanting to know why you really called and acting as if all this niceness is just a prelude to your usual behavior, just assure him you called because you missed him and wanted to check in on him. Then say goodbye and end the call on a good note. When you have an ex boyfriend to get back, you want him to wonder at the end of such a conversation. He’ll wonder why you didn’t beg or plead as usual, and what’s going on.

If you’re less comfortable with calling for such a thing, mail him a card that simply says you’re thinking about him. It’s important to give him the chance to make a move. When you have an ex boyfriend to get back, you can’t smother him with attention and affection but instead let him come after you.


For more information and useful tips and advice read the fabulous book "The Magic Of Making Up"