Showing posts with label in love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label in love. Show all posts

Sunday, 15 November 2009

Tips On How To Win Back Lost Love

To win back lost love is not at all natural for everyone and it's no wonder because it's not something most of us have any real understanding of how to successfully do. However, if you want to get back with someone who you're still in love with, then it is something you're going to have to understand and implement.

Once your ex has left the relationship and you know you want them back, it's time to start sorting out your head in order to get them back. No doubt there has been drama and emotional turmoil in the run up to the breakup and during the actual breakup. If you're going to win back lost love you're going to need to sort yourself out and do so on your own.

It is vital that you do not involve your ex as you attempt to clear your mind, because you need space and distance from your ex and they from you. So, if you are still in any form of contact with your ex then break off that contact now. Contact will only make you vulnerable. If you're vulnerable then you become someone whose ability to make rational and calm decisions becomes impaired. Get out from under your ex and stand on your own two feet until you can honestly say that you are through the worst of the initial breakup.

Equally, do your best to avoid spending too much time on your own. Because as much as you need to be away from your ex, you also need to have people around you. Spending too much time on your own brings a real risk of you becoming depressed and low. You might also find that if you're on your own too much, then you can struggle with the temptation to call or try to see your ex. So find your friends. If you need to make new friends, then do so. Do anything to avoid being home alone night after night.

To win back lost love make sure that you are clear about the mistakes that were made in the relationship by you. Yes your ex no doubt made their fair share of mistakes, but for now your concern is your own behavior since that is the only thing you can realistically control and affect.
Come to terms with your weaknesses and make sure that if you need to do some work on yourself that you put in place the right mechanisms to do so. That may involve discussing your situation with a professional or it might mean changing the way that you cope with certain situations.

Whatever you need to do to win back lost love, if you are serious, then you need to get on and do it before it's too late.

Saturday, 14 November 2009

You Made Mistakes - How To Get Partner Back

It is quite common for the person left to not really realize they are deeply in love with their ex until the ex has left the relationship. If this is you, then you no doubt want to discover how to get partner back before it's too late. But what you must not do is to allow the fact that you have made some mistakes to stop you in your attempt. It is very well documented that most of the relationships that break up could very easily be put back together again, if only one of those involved actually tried. So try!

There are some basic steps that you can take when you're looking into how to get partner back, you simply have to make sure that you get the details of these steps correct and that you spend a sufficient amount of time going through each step. How much time, varies from situation to situation and the real truth is that only you can judge the time that you think you might need.

If the relationship was a tumultuous up and down messy emotional one, then it is going to need a longer time to get over the initial mess of the break up. Longer than if your relationship was stable and less exacting. So be honest with yourself and be clear about what kind of relationship you had with your ex, because the truth right here will go a long way to helping you figure out how to get partner back.

A clue is that most people need at least a month on their own without contact with their ex to start the healing process. Don't try and bypass this alone time because without it most attempts fail.

You are going to spend your alone time looking at the mistakes that you might have made and you are going to forgive yourself for those mistakes. If you try and get back with your ex and you have not forgive yourself, then how is it possible for your ex to fully forgive you. So be kind to yourself, accept your fallibility and forgive yourself.

That doesn't mean that you just draw a line under any mistakes that you may have made and forget about them. It means that you should then go on to figuring out how you can avoid such mistakes in the future, if the same or similar situations arise. Because you really do not want to get into a cycle of the same old things that keep on happening.

Once you're confident that you have the emotions and the reasons behind your mistakes sorted out, you are then ready to go ahead and actually make contact with your ex and ask to talk to them.

Thursday, 29 October 2009

Dating Someone Else: Is It A Way To Win Back My Ex Boyfriend?

To win back ex boyfriend, try dating someone else! Your first thought is that that doesn't sound right! It sounds counter-intuitive and you're flat out not going to do it! Right? Well what if it's the right thing to do and by doing it you move yourself closer to getting back together with your ex boyfriend? Would you do it then?

Let me explain! When you've been dumped by someone you're still in love with, instinctively your first thoughts are to chase after them and to beg and plead with them to take you back. It's pretty much a mad panic on your part to get right back into the relationship before your ex boyfriend forgets about you and/or meets someone else.

Well pretty much you need to understand that your ex boyfriend is not going to forget about you just because the two of you broke up. Plus if he still has strong feelings for you, just because he's dating someone else it doesn't mean there's no way back for the two of you. So there's really no need to panic!

Instead to win back ex boyfriend trust that taking some time out is the right thing to do and take that time out. During this time away from your ex boyfriend, be sure not to contact him in anyway. Just let him get on with whatever he's doing and you do the same.

Once you accept that you're not going to be contacting your ex boyfriend, it's time to put on your best outfit, reconnect with your friends and get out and have some fun. Not only will this keep you busy and stop the temptation to call your ex, but it will also boost your confidence no end.

If you meet someone who you feel you'd like to date, don't let your desire to win back ex boyfriend stop you. Remember, you're not actually in a relationship with your ex, you've broken up and you're a free agent. So if you're emotionally ready to have some fun, go ahead and have some!

What you should do first and foremost though, is to make it clear to whoever you decide to date that you're not interested in anything heavy or full on, you just want to have some fun.

What you should also be clear about in your own mind, is that this is not about making your ex boyfriend jealous. It is only about keeping your spirits high and helping you come to terms with the situation with your ex boyfriend. You never know, you might enjoy this new guy so much that you decide that getting back with your ex boyfriend is not what you want to do after all.

Equally using this time apart to explore how you feel, can be a real way to win back ex boyfriend.

Thursday, 8 October 2009

Why Do I Want My Ex Back

“Why do I want my ex back?” has been the cry of many who have been unable to let go of a love that has past them by. It is an understandable question to ask. Common sense tells you that you need to move on. Most of your closest friends are hoping that you would. Your ex most likely is wishing that you could move on as well. So why is it that you have to keep asking yourself, “Why do I want my ex back?”

You were in a love relationship of some kind, may be a marriage. It may have lasted a long time or only a short time but in either case, you had a lot invested in it. It is hard to let go of things and ideas that you may have been really attached to.

Most people do not enter into relationships lightly. They go into them hoping for something that will last a long time and just want love. You have dreams of the way that things could be. You have an idea of the way things should be. For some reason it doesn't happen. The bubble bursts on your idea and then you are left hanging on. It made such good and almost perfect sense at the time and then it is gone. You have to adjust to the idea that what you saw isn't there anymore if it was at all.

Was it love or just the idea of being in love? The lines get so confusing sometimes. Was the love ever there? It is very likely that it was at one point. The only problem was that it wasn't permanent. The two of you became incredibly important parts of each other. You get used to having certain things or people attached to you and when they are gone your mind may have trouble adjusting.

There are those who have lost limbs who still feel a phantom itch in the appendage that is now gone. There are still brain cells that are telling you that what isn't there itches and there isn't a thing you can do about it unless you retrain your brain.

The same thing is true for those who were intimately attached to someone, whether it was romantic or platonic in nature. If those people are removed for some reason, those parts of your brain that had grown accustomed to that loved one being there will have to adjust. While your brain is adjusting to the change, you are left thinking about them almost against your will.

If you are frustrated because you keep asking yourself, “Why do I want my ex back?” don't get too distraught over it. It may help you to get some advice on how to get over a relationship from someone who has been there or who understands and has helped others. It is only natural that you will have trouble with it and “want my ex back.” Give it some time, get some help, and get distracted and in time you will no longer be asking, “Why do I want my ex back?”

Monday, 5 October 2009

How To Win Your Ex Boyfriend Back With Dignity

When you try to win ex boyfriend back you may feel like you need to go begging on your hands and knees. You may feel that you have to lower yourself and lose every bit of pride that you have. The breakup may have gone a long way towards hurting your pride as it is, there is no need to further hurt your self image. There is no reason that you shouldn't be able to win ex boyfriend back and retain some dignity.

You may feel that you need to go begging back to him but there are things that you can do that won't make that necessary. If you got dumped that was enough to hurt the way you look at yourself. If you broke up with him then, realizing you made a huge mistake, you may feel that you have to go crawling back to ask for forgiveness. That may not be what you need to do to win ex boyfriend back.

If he broke up with you, think about what it was that drew him to you in the first place. What was the attitude you had then? How was your spirit? If you want to rekindle that love that was once there, try putting all the elements back that caused the fire in the first place. Whatever you do, let yourself be visible to him. Let him see that you are still the same person that he fell in love with once. Let him also know that you know he sees you. Be obvious that you are that person again. If he doesn't notice you, someone else just might and that might not be a bad thing. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink. If there is another horse there, they may be more appreciative of what you have to offer.

If you broke up with him, and you believe that it was a mistake, let him know. Let him know that he has every right to be mad but tell him that you don't expect to have him come back. Tell him, “Whatever happens from this point is OK with me. I just wanted to let you know that I made a big mistake with you and I'm sorry if I hurt you.” Ask for forgiveness, but don't beg for it. Begging is not a good way to win ex boyfriend back.

Also, don't ask to be reunited. You should let him know that you don't expect a second chance and you probably don't deserve one but you really wish that things had worked out differently. Say your piece and then walk away. If he is interested in getting back together with you or is curious about what you are trying to do then let him make the move. It takes strength and character to admit a mistake and an equal amount of it to take the consequences. If he is as special as you believe him to be, he will notice what you have just done and will want to be your boyfriend once again.
Unless you have some amazing love spells, you may find it a huge challenge to win ex boyfriend back. If he is the one and the result is supposed to be marriage or a life long relationship then it will happen. The trick is to get him involved and make it seem like he is pursuing you. Make him want you, again. As hard as it is to do and as humiliated as you could feel, just know that there is a way to win ex boyfriend back and have some dignity doing it.

Saturday, 3 October 2009

What If I Still Love My Ex...

If you are finding yourself saying, “I still love my ex” then you have to figure out what you want to happen next. It is only natural for there to be some residual love hanging around. After all, the two of you shared some special times together and were able to get close. The closeness and love is not easily broken completely. Does the love that is still there mean that you want to get back the one you love? When you say, “I still love my ex” what does that mean?

When someone says “I still love my ex” it is a really good sign because, first of all, it means that there was some love there to begin with. That love was a gift that isn't easily taken away. There will still be a fondness there and there will be a lot to remember from the marriage or relationship. Much of it will be good memories. Just because there is love still lingering doesn't mean that you are bound to get back together or that it should even happen. You do need to be asking yourself, “I still love my ex, but do I want my ex back?” If you look at it closely and with a chance to step back and ponder it, you will be more able to see if the two of you are meant to be together.

If you have been able to figure out that your statement, “I still love my ex” is due to just a remaining fondness then don't feel any need to push it in one direction or another. Just go with the flow. What will happen is that the two of you will either drift away or you will remain friends for a long time. That could be something special on it's own and something few have. Good friends are hard to find.

If, by saying, “I still love my ex”, you mean that you want to get back together with them then you have to be willing to do some work. You need to first see if the other person has an interest in getting back together with you. This will happen naturally because, like with the above advice, it will happen naturally. Just don't push it one way or the other and you will tell if the feeling is mutual. When the two of you decide that you want to try again, be ready to work.

If this was a marriage that failed, seek marriage counseling. No matter what kind of relationship it was, though, seek relationship advice from someone trained to do so who can help the two of you build back stronger what had fallen apart. Obviously there were mistakes made and the two of you were incapable of handling it on your own. If you had been getting counseling before, find someone different to get it from. The two of you will need a fresh start and someone that will help the two of you make the relationship stronger.

If you find yourself saying “Help! I still love my ex!” there isn't any need to panic. Just let things take their course naturally at first and then seek help to get it on the right path. The momentum you two make on your own will make the guidance easier. Before you know it, you won't be saying, “I love my ex,” but you will be saying “I'm in love!”

Find more advice in The Magic Of Making Up

Thursday, 1 October 2009

Your Ex Is Hating You...

So you want to know ways to get ex back in love with you? Be careful what actions you take in your efforts to get ex back. If you aren’t careful you may find more ways to get ex back hating you instead of loving you.

If you don’t want your ex to hate you then DO NOT do these things.

Call them several times a day. This will bug them like crazy and may cause them to block your number. You can always get more numbers, though. Disposable phones and using friend’s cell phones are easy ways to get this done.

Keep writing them and letting them know how much you miss them. Letters, Emails, and Text Messages can hit them from several directions. Leave notes on their windshield. This is a great way to get their attention (and wrath).

Remind them frequently of things that they said and promises they made. Who says that things have to change? They said it once, so they must have meant it forever and just forgot.

Constantly remind them. You will only be reminding them how good an idea it was to leave you.

Follow/Stalk them and let them know that every minute they live, you are right there. Every single breathe they take, you’ll be watching them. Be sure to grin whenever they see you. They will think your crazy and you may scare them. Be ready for the restraining order.

Bother their friends. Ask them constantly how they are doing and see if you can find out where they are going to be. Try to go everywhere that the friends are. Most likely they will be trying to get rid of you.

Call their new love interest and let the new flame know that you are the real love and it is only a matter of time before your ways to get ex back works. More than likely you will end up making both of them hate you and they could end up becoming closer because of the harassing you do.

Call their parents and try to be their parent’s best friend. You will only get the parents mad at you as well or drive a wedge between your ex and his parents. Either way, you have given your ex more reason to hate you.

Try dating their best friend. Your efforts to make them jealous may end up ruining another of their relationships. Sooner or later the best friend will realize that you are just using them and you will be alone again.

Call their workplace and ask about him or ask to talk to him. That will be a great way to get your ex back hating you, especially if it costs them their job.

There are ways to get ex back in love with you but get help and find out what things work. Be careful who you try to get help from. If they have a successful, long lasting romance or are trained at giving relationship advice, then they are good to get help from. If they have had a lot of short term relationships they may not be the best one to get help from. Follow your heart if you want to get ex back, but be careful what you do. Not all ways to get ex back that come to you naturally will make them love you again.

Sunday, 27 September 2009

If He Wants More Space...

Almost everyone has experienced a powerful relationship in their life, when suddenly everything which seems so perfectly is broken off because your boyfriend wants space. There are a number of different reasons for why a boyfriend may suddenly need space, including family problems, insecurities, or a fear of commitment just to name a few.

Here are some tips for answering the age old "how to get my ex back" question if your ex boyfriend needs more space.

- You are not going to want to lose your pride, or to allow him to get the best of you - But clearly you are still in love with him. It may be ideal to play a little bit hard to get at first, in order to show him that yes, it was his loss and not your own.

- If you are feeling like your ex boyfriend still has feelings for you, then it may be ideal for you to strike up a conversation with him. Keep communication to a minimum in order to keep the level of drama to a minimum. Short text messages, brief phone calls and online conversations in passing are all a great way to remind him how much he wants to be a part of your life without overwhelming him with your presence when he may actually want and need space.

- Eventually he will begin to show significant interest in you again if all goes well, and this will give you the chance to truly begin to reminisce with him. Keep in mind that you should focus primarily on all of the good memories associated with your relationship in the past. While rekindling a relationship with your ex boyfriend, you are going to want to stay away from the bad experiences and negative experiences in case they conjure bad feelings and undo your hard work.

- If your boyfriend is not responding to your slow and subtle advances, you need to take it for what it is. Either he just really is not interested in you right now, or he really does just need space and you should give it to him. But if on the other hand he seems to be interested in you more than before, or is slowly warming up to you again, then you should continue gradually advancing on him to rekindle the relationship.

- If your ex boyfriend is giving you the right signals, you can try to open your heart up to him. Let him know how you feel, but avoid looking desperate or needy in the process. If your ex is showing you that he is thinking about rekindling things, then it would be healthy to be open with him. But if his signals are pointing in the other direction, it may be wiser to step back and let things happen more naturally.

These are just the beginning steps in winning your ex back. And frankly these aren't my original ideas. T 'Dub' Jackson authored a simple, down to earth step by step plan called "The Magic Of Making Up". And you know, it can work like magic for you.

Wednesday, 9 September 2009

How To Heal Your Relationship - Self Help Tips

Relationships are supposed to be able to bring out the best in us but many times it is the root for needing self help advice. Most self esteem issues are directly tied to relationships we are in. It doesn't matter if you are dating or in a marriage or just in love, it can either make us feel better or worse about ourselves. We strive to find the one who will love us and make us feel like we are on top of the world, unfortunately that doesn't always happen.

One thing that many will try to do is find out if the reason for your difficulties in your relationships is because of the problems between the two of you or is it because of problems that originated early on in either your life or the other persons life. It can be exhausting trying to find the original root of the matter but one thing is obvious, you have problems now.

The best thing to do is to try and fix the relationship that you are in now so that you and your spouse or partner can help overcome each other challenges. You may be interested in reading self help books and utilize different self help techniques. If your relationship is strong, though, there will be no more need to concentrate on healing yourself because you will have a partner to help you overcome.

First, though, you need to work on building the relationship. Seek out some good marriage counselors or others who can give good relationship advice.

One thing that is going to help is to never allow yourself to be criticized, or at least don't internalize it. Also make sure you don't criticize the one you love. There is no such thing as constructive criticism. There is nothing constructive about it. All it does is make one feel less powerful than the other and it is used to manipulate much in the same way an abuser does. A relationship is not a power struggle and it is not a war. Quit treating it like that and there won't be any fights to win or lose.
There are some more things that you can do to help your relationship. Where you are separated by beliefs, try talking it out and instead of pointing out where each other is wrong or where their weaknesses are try to find common ground. Take time to discuss what each other's roles are in the relationship. Also discuss what you expect of the other. Let your partner know what hurts but also let them know what it is you want or need them to do and try to offer the same to them.
Whether you are dating or involved in a marriage there are many things that you can do to help better the situation. Once the two of you have worked to repair the relationship and put away any talks of divorce, separation, or just breaking up, the two of you can work together to make each other better people. Your relationship will help you help yourself image and will help you overcome all those things that hold you back.


Tuesday, 8 September 2009

What To Do When She Has Dumped You

How to get your ex back? This is the lament of every guy who has ever been dumped. Did you know that in three quarters of break ups, it is the girl who calls the whole thing off? Guys generally want to stay together with their girlfriends.

First of all, you have to determine whether she did you a favor by dumping you. Too often, guys stick with girls out of inertia. It is easier to stay in an okay relationship than go out and look for a really good one. If you don’t feel that the girl who dumped you was your soul mate, consider that her calling things off might be a blessing in disguise.

If this is not the case and you still want get your ex back, read on.

The next step is to determine whether she loves you. Girls can be fickle. They are much more likely to act impulsively and then have regrets about what they did. If you think she still loves you, you have a good chance at to get your ex back.

In this case, you have to make her come to you. Many guys call their ex’s numerous times, send hundreds of texts, and exhibit other such stalkerish behavior. This just pushes their girlfriends away.

Instead, seem like you are accepting of the break up. Move on. Date other girls – especially girls in her circle. By making her come back to you instead of the other way around, you will go about how get your ex back.

During this time, you should analyze whether you have changed from the many she first fell in love with. Often, guys try to impress girls up front. But, once they have slipped into a comfortable relationship with their girlfriend, they slag off. For instance, are you still working out as often as you did? Toward the end, were you still opening her car door, buying her flowers, and generally romancing her the way you did at the beginning of the relationship? These things can make a big difference in how get your ex back.

When you do see your ex girlfriend, subtly remind her of your common bonds. If you are going to go to a party where you know she’s going to be, wear a shirt she gave you. If she has a favorite cologne, wear it. And, when you talk, bring up the positive things in your past. Don’t beat her over the head with them, but make her nostalgic about your common history.

Sunday, 23 August 2009

How To Stop Divorce And Save Marriage

If you want to stop divorce, you have to convince the person what wants to divorce you to give the relationship another try. This isn’t always possible, but it’s absolutely necessary if you have a chance of stopping a divorce. A divorce can be stopped at virtually any stage—before it’s filed or just before it needs the final paperwork. The earlier you stop a divorce, the more likely it is that the divorce won’t be restarted, at least not anytime soon.

So to stop a divorce, you must convince the person to give the relationship another chance. If you have been begging the other person to give you another try or pleading for them to get back together with you, stop now. This might seem counterproductive, as if now that the person has less resistance it will make it easier for them to divorce you. But your pleading probably wasn’t doing anything but convincing them that divorce is a good idea anyway. Who wants to be around someone who is behaving that way?

If you can start acting more mature and behave in a more pleasant manner, it might surprise the other person and help stop divorce. Explain that you really don’t want the divorce and you want another chance in a calm way. The person already knows this so you screaming or carrying on won’t help your chances. Just make it clear that you’re hurt and very sad, and you really want another chance. You might be surprised how the other person reacts when you change your behavior.

You can also show a mature side of yourself that the other person might not have seen over the last several weeks and suggest marital or couples counseling to stop divorce. Counseling has worked for million of couples and your relationship could benefit from it, too. If you can get the other person to agree to couples counseling, then you have precious time before they file for or attempt to finalize a divorce to convince them to give you and the relationship another chance.

During counseling you’ll have the opportunity to show the person why they fell in love with you. You can remind them why you’re together in the first place. And if you can show honest effort in wanting to deal with the problems that come up during the counseling—and many probably will—that might be enough to convince the other person not only to stop divorce temporarily, but permanently.

When you succeed and stop divorce, you must remember that the person was about to divorce you and it would be easy enough for them to change his or her mind and file for divorce later. Having already thought about divorce and maybe even having gone far enough as to file for divorce at one time makes the decision to file again easier. So be aware of the state of your relationship, and perhaps continue counseling. It’s easier to stop divorce temporarily than to have a good relationship for the long term.



Thursday, 30 July 2009

What If I'm Still In Love But My Ex May Not Be

This is a difficult situation. First of all, you don’t really know that your ex is not still in love with you, too. Your ex may have claimed to not love you anymore, and that’s possible. But it’s also possible that he or she still harbors feelings for you. Many couples who still love each other very much break up for other reasons.

If you can honestly say, I’m still in love my ex, there’s a good chance your ex might still love you. But that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a good idea to try to get back together. You broke up for a reason. Even if you didn’t want to break up and the break off was entirely your ex’s doing, really think hard about things. It’s rare that a person can’t think back and see reasons why the break-up might be for the best. It isn’t always easy right at first when you’re still in so much pain from the break-up, but with time you’ll probably see that the break-up might even be good for you.

If the break-up was mutual and now you’re having a hard time because you feel “I’m still in love, my ex should be here with me,” then it’s even more important that you examine why you agreed to the break-up in the first place. Yes, there is a chance that a mutual split was a mistake. But if you’ll really look back at the reasons you both had for calling a halt to the relationship, you might find that’s better to love your ex from afar and work through the sadness rather than try to rekindle the romance.

“I’m still in love; my ex even wants to get back together.” While this might make you feel very hopeful that the two of you might be able to work things out and live happily ever after, don’t be fooled into thinking that it will be easy. The reasons you broke up are still there. If you get back together, what will change? Your relationship might go along well for a while because you’re both so happy to be back together.

If you broke up thinking, I’m still in love my ex, and he or she thought the same so you got back together, you’ll go through a honeymoon period just as you did when you were a new couple. You’ll both feel like you saved the relationship and kept each other from making a horrible mistake. But that feel-good honeymoon period will wear off eventually. And then what will you do?

How are you going to prevent the problems that caused you to break up in the first place from coming back and making you want to part ways again? Couples counseling is a good option. If you think, “I’m still in love my ex and want him or her back,” then consider counseling to keep old problems from splitting you up again later.


For more tips and advices read the awesome book "The Magic Of Making Up"