Showing posts with label breaking up. Show all posts
Showing posts with label breaking up. Show all posts

Saturday, 16 January 2010

Heartbroken Songs: Use Them To Get Back Together

Heartbroken songs are the perfect songs after you've broken up with the person that you love. You don't feel like listening to anything cheerier. In fact, some cheerier songs can only make things worse because you're reminded of the good times you had together. You may even try your hand at writing heartbroken songs after your break up.

Heartbroken songs are an old tradition, reaching back to probably the day man discovered music and singing. And to the day he discovered broken hearts. If you're not comfortable trying to come up with an entire song or you have trouble rhyming, you can always write a poem instead.

You can even write your ex a long letter in which you express yourself, if you feel a poem or song is just too hard or too far removed from that they would actually expect of you. But if you can make up a song that truly expresses how you feel then you should go for it.

If you've ever had someone write a poem or a song for you, you know how great it feels. So the idea that you would make up heartbroken songs might really move your ex to think about what's going on. They're sure to be touched in some say by the gesture, at least.

To write these songs, you only need to write poetry and then put it to music. You have to write the words, but you don't have to be able to write music. Just come up with a melody and sing the songs to that melody. If you can't come up with a melody of your own, then pick a melody from a favorite song and write new words for it.

Still, writing songs isn't for everyone. Fortunately, there have been millions of them written for you already! You probably already have a few favorites that you like to listen to. Now they might have an entirely new meaning when you listen to them.

There's a good chance that your ex will find new meaning in them too, since you've broken up. You could burn a CD of several sad songs about break ups and send it to him or her with a letter. The thing that makes this so effective is that you'll very carefully choose the songs you include.

Just because a song is sad and about a breakup doesn't mean it's a good idea to include it. Really listen to the words and the sentiment behind them. Then choose songs that especially fit your situation.

It can really be effective to choose a few sad songs about the relationship being strained or ending, and include a really uplifting love song among them. If you have a special song as a couple, including that as the last song on the CD can remind your ex of happier times.

Heartbroken songs are there to help you heal, but if you use them correctly they may help you get back together with your ex.

Thursday, 10 December 2009

Ease The Pain Of A Relationship Breakup Right Now In 4 Important Steps

A relationship breakup is one of the hardest things most people will ever have to do. Indeed, most studies on stress show that a divorce ranks even higher on the stress scale than losing a loved one. Most people don't have any idea how to properly handle a relationship breakup.

The end of a relationship will always be painful, even if it's one that needs to be broken up. You've spent a lot of time and emotion with this person, and even if you're the one doing the breaking up, it's going to come with a lot of hurt feelings.

Obviously, this going to be even worse if you're the one being broken up with. A relationship breakup that you don't want or expect is a horrible event. What you have to keep in mind is that a relationship needs two people in it. You may want it to go on, but if the other person has checked out, you may have to consider that the relationship needed to end.

Still there are techniques you can use to ease the pain of a relationship breakup. I'm going to outline several techniques that have been proven to help relieve the pain of a broken heart and move you past the hurt.

Step One: Figure Out Why

You need to know why the relationship ended. This doesn't matter if you were the one doing the breaking up or the one being broken up with. Either way you need to do some soul searching to find out what the reasons were behind the breakup. If you have some questions about why you broke up, then you're never going to be able to move beyond the relationship breakup.

Step Two: Get Rid of Reminders

You need to get some space between you and the person you've broken up with. This means that you can't go to bed each night hanging on to your ex's old sweater. You need to clean the deck and get your mind off of them. You need to make a clean break, so you need to put away all the little reminders.

Step Three: Positive People

There are negative people in the world and there are positive people. If you've just experienced a relationship breakup, you're going to find that you are in a very negative place. What you need to do is find the most upbeat and positive people you can and spend as much time with them as possible. In combination with the previous two steps, this will put you in the right place to move.

Step Four: Start Dating Again

The final step in recovering from a relationship break up is to start dating other people. The thing you need to keep in mind is that you are not trying to replace your ex, you're just trying to start seeing the world as a place without them. So you need to see other people and get out there. Don't look at every date as a new chance at love, just look at them as a way to get your mojo back.

The four steps will have you over your relationship breakup in no time flat. But keep in mind: you don't necessarily have to get over a break up. Sometimes good relationships fall apart for the wrong reasons, and you can fix the damage. You just need to find the right plan.

Thursday, 29 October 2009

Dating Someone Else: Is It A Way To Win Back My Ex Boyfriend?

To win back ex boyfriend, try dating someone else! Your first thought is that that doesn't sound right! It sounds counter-intuitive and you're flat out not going to do it! Right? Well what if it's the right thing to do and by doing it you move yourself closer to getting back together with your ex boyfriend? Would you do it then?

Let me explain! When you've been dumped by someone you're still in love with, instinctively your first thoughts are to chase after them and to beg and plead with them to take you back. It's pretty much a mad panic on your part to get right back into the relationship before your ex boyfriend forgets about you and/or meets someone else.

Well pretty much you need to understand that your ex boyfriend is not going to forget about you just because the two of you broke up. Plus if he still has strong feelings for you, just because he's dating someone else it doesn't mean there's no way back for the two of you. So there's really no need to panic!

Instead to win back ex boyfriend trust that taking some time out is the right thing to do and take that time out. During this time away from your ex boyfriend, be sure not to contact him in anyway. Just let him get on with whatever he's doing and you do the same.

Once you accept that you're not going to be contacting your ex boyfriend, it's time to put on your best outfit, reconnect with your friends and get out and have some fun. Not only will this keep you busy and stop the temptation to call your ex, but it will also boost your confidence no end.

If you meet someone who you feel you'd like to date, don't let your desire to win back ex boyfriend stop you. Remember, you're not actually in a relationship with your ex, you've broken up and you're a free agent. So if you're emotionally ready to have some fun, go ahead and have some!

What you should do first and foremost though, is to make it clear to whoever you decide to date that you're not interested in anything heavy or full on, you just want to have some fun.

What you should also be clear about in your own mind, is that this is not about making your ex boyfriend jealous. It is only about keeping your spirits high and helping you come to terms with the situation with your ex boyfriend. You never know, you might enjoy this new guy so much that you decide that getting back with your ex boyfriend is not what you want to do after all.

Equally using this time apart to explore how you feel, can be a real way to win back ex boyfriend.

Monday, 5 October 2009

How To Win Your Ex Boyfriend Back With Dignity

When you try to win ex boyfriend back you may feel like you need to go begging on your hands and knees. You may feel that you have to lower yourself and lose every bit of pride that you have. The breakup may have gone a long way towards hurting your pride as it is, there is no need to further hurt your self image. There is no reason that you shouldn't be able to win ex boyfriend back and retain some dignity.

You may feel that you need to go begging back to him but there are things that you can do that won't make that necessary. If you got dumped that was enough to hurt the way you look at yourself. If you broke up with him then, realizing you made a huge mistake, you may feel that you have to go crawling back to ask for forgiveness. That may not be what you need to do to win ex boyfriend back.

If he broke up with you, think about what it was that drew him to you in the first place. What was the attitude you had then? How was your spirit? If you want to rekindle that love that was once there, try putting all the elements back that caused the fire in the first place. Whatever you do, let yourself be visible to him. Let him see that you are still the same person that he fell in love with once. Let him also know that you know he sees you. Be obvious that you are that person again. If he doesn't notice you, someone else just might and that might not be a bad thing. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink. If there is another horse there, they may be more appreciative of what you have to offer.

If you broke up with him, and you believe that it was a mistake, let him know. Let him know that he has every right to be mad but tell him that you don't expect to have him come back. Tell him, “Whatever happens from this point is OK with me. I just wanted to let you know that I made a big mistake with you and I'm sorry if I hurt you.” Ask for forgiveness, but don't beg for it. Begging is not a good way to win ex boyfriend back.

Also, don't ask to be reunited. You should let him know that you don't expect a second chance and you probably don't deserve one but you really wish that things had worked out differently. Say your piece and then walk away. If he is interested in getting back together with you or is curious about what you are trying to do then let him make the move. It takes strength and character to admit a mistake and an equal amount of it to take the consequences. If he is as special as you believe him to be, he will notice what you have just done and will want to be your boyfriend once again.
Unless you have some amazing love spells, you may find it a huge challenge to win ex boyfriend back. If he is the one and the result is supposed to be marriage or a life long relationship then it will happen. The trick is to get him involved and make it seem like he is pursuing you. Make him want you, again. As hard as it is to do and as humiliated as you could feel, just know that there is a way to win ex boyfriend back and have some dignity doing it.

Wednesday, 9 September 2009

How To Heal Your Relationship - Self Help Tips

Relationships are supposed to be able to bring out the best in us but many times it is the root for needing self help advice. Most self esteem issues are directly tied to relationships we are in. It doesn't matter if you are dating or in a marriage or just in love, it can either make us feel better or worse about ourselves. We strive to find the one who will love us and make us feel like we are on top of the world, unfortunately that doesn't always happen.

One thing that many will try to do is find out if the reason for your difficulties in your relationships is because of the problems between the two of you or is it because of problems that originated early on in either your life or the other persons life. It can be exhausting trying to find the original root of the matter but one thing is obvious, you have problems now.

The best thing to do is to try and fix the relationship that you are in now so that you and your spouse or partner can help overcome each other challenges. You may be interested in reading self help books and utilize different self help techniques. If your relationship is strong, though, there will be no more need to concentrate on healing yourself because you will have a partner to help you overcome.

First, though, you need to work on building the relationship. Seek out some good marriage counselors or others who can give good relationship advice.

One thing that is going to help is to never allow yourself to be criticized, or at least don't internalize it. Also make sure you don't criticize the one you love. There is no such thing as constructive criticism. There is nothing constructive about it. All it does is make one feel less powerful than the other and it is used to manipulate much in the same way an abuser does. A relationship is not a power struggle and it is not a war. Quit treating it like that and there won't be any fights to win or lose.
There are some more things that you can do to help your relationship. Where you are separated by beliefs, try talking it out and instead of pointing out where each other is wrong or where their weaknesses are try to find common ground. Take time to discuss what each other's roles are in the relationship. Also discuss what you expect of the other. Let your partner know what hurts but also let them know what it is you want or need them to do and try to offer the same to them.
Whether you are dating or involved in a marriage there are many things that you can do to help better the situation. Once the two of you have worked to repair the relationship and put away any talks of divorce, separation, or just breaking up, the two of you can work together to make each other better people. Your relationship will help you help yourself image and will help you overcome all those things that hold you back.


Monday, 31 August 2009

Broken Trust As Main Reason For A Divorce

People get divorced for many reasons. One of the most common has to do with broken trust.

If the reason that you are in the situation where your spouse is going to divorce because you have been unfaithful there are things that you should and shouldn't do to help. If there is something that you did that is the problem, don't tell them that you can change or try to talk them into believing it, make the change. If you seriously want to know how to stop a divorce start with accepting responsibility.

Actions speak louder than words. If it is something that is a matter of trust that you have hurt, don't do it again. In fact don't do anything that will give your spouse any reason to question your faithfulness. If you want your partner to love you and trust you, you have to prove that you are worthy of trust again. It will take time and hopefully you have not burned them so much that they will never trust you. If you have broken trust, the truth is you don't deserve to be trusted.
It is the effort to be faithful that will assure them that you are changing. Don't deny that you have betrayed their trust and don't try to justify it. Don't get mad because they don't trust you and don't argue about it. If you messed up, own up and take responsibility.

There may be situations where the one you love has been guilty of breaking trust and has been guilty of infidelity. Think of how you would want them to give you another chance. If you feel that you would be it very well may be that they deserve one as well. Put yourself in their shoes and treat them the way you would want to be treated. Try to understand why this happened. It very well may be that it can be resolved. Many times, however, it can not be.

Ask how to stop a divorce by going to friends who have been in your shoes and been through a divorce or from other sources where they have been trained in how to deal with these situations. If your relationship is important at all, it is well worth trying to find help before breaking up is the only option. Try to find the best relationship advice you can.

Be ready for depression to come because of what the two of you are going through. It isn't easy to deal with this and you may need some kind of therapy to help you cope and understand what is happening. Love relationships can be great but they can also bring a great deal of stress when there is broken trust involved. If you want to know how to stop a divorce, seek as much help as possible. You don't have to do it alone.



Find more advice in The Magic Of Making Up

Friday, 21 August 2009

How To Make A Rebound Relationship To Work In Your Favor

If you have broken up with the love of your life and she is in a rebound relationship, how do you get her back?

A rebound relationship is one where she is dating someone else to get over you. Rebound relationships keep people from having to deal with the emotions of breaking up. They’re used to help people move on from a real love.

And that’s the key to getting your ex back. She’s in a rebound relationship to deal with losing you.

It does not matter why she lost you. It doesn’t matter if it is your fault or hers. It doesn’t even matter who actually called the relationship off. What matters is that you have a real love.
Because virtually all relationships founded on real love can be saved.

If she’s in a rebound relationship, she will be focusing on what is wrong with your relationship. If you were a “good guy” she’ll probably be hanging out with a “bad boy.” If you were into philosophy, he’ll be watching Monday Night Football. Or, vice versa.

The fact that she is actually focusing on the differences in your styles is actually good for you for two reasons. Her attention is still focused on you even when she’s with the new guy. And, it gives you a chance to see what she’s looking for.

If she’s with someone as different from you as possible, it means that she was missing something in your relationship. You can use the time she’s with rebound man to improve yourself.

Let the rebound relationship run its course. Because, as she spends time with the new guy, she’ll start to see the flaws in him. After a month or so with rebound man, you’ll start to look pretty good.

That’s why you don’t want to crawl back to her right away. Let her develop the idea that she misses the good things in the relationship. When she’s ready to make a move, be magnanimous. Welcome her back graciously. Be a new and improved boyfriend, but don’t do the chasing.

Here are some specific steps to take when your ex is in a rebound relationship:

· Don’t try to convince her that you are the love of her life. Let her discover this on her own.

· Don’t apologize profusely. If you did something wrong, you can say you’re sorry. Once. But move on. She knows the real reason she loves you.

· Don’t make promises to change. You are who you are and that’s who she fell in love with.

· Don’t try to make her see that it wasn’t your fault. She will come to appreciate that over time – but only if you haven’t made her invest energy in defending her position that it was your fault.

· Never, ever beg her to take you back.

When you ex starts going out with someone just after you break up, she’s in a rebound relationship. You can make up with her and get back together. Don’t despair. The rebound relationship is a sign that she’s still in love with you.



Monday, 17 August 2009

How To Restore Trust in Relationships After An Affair

How do you get your ex back even after you’ve cheated? Some people claim that an affair should always end a relationship. But I believe that every relationship is savable if both parties really want to work on it.

Restoring trust in relationships requires an adjustment in attitude and actions. Even after an affair, it is possible to save a relationship. But that starts with ramping up the level of trust within the couple.
If you have had an affair, you have had an attitude which allowed you to stray. There may be something at the relationship’s core that is diseased. But you can heal the disease.

What was it that you were looking for when you strayed? Was the sex humdrum? Was she too busy for you? Was she just not spending enough time on her grooming?

You wouldn’t have had an affair if the primary relationship was perfect. So, what needs to be done to fix it? Often that lies in self analysis. But just as often, that lies in the couple’s relationship.

Restoring trust in relationships means fixing the underlying problems. Sometimes that means going into couples counseling.

But just understanding our thoughts isn’t enough. The next step is to take concrete action in fixing the problems.

The secret to restoring trust in relationships lies not in talking about the right things, but in doing the right things.

One of the biggest things you can do is to make small promises and keep them. If you promise to take the trash out every evening, do it. And, do it consistently. When you demonstrate that you can be trusted in the small things, a gradual sense of confidence will be realized in the larger picture of the relationship.

Your girlfriend or wife is going to need constant reassurance that you have changed. This means that you are going to need to apologize more than once over time. You will also need to treat the recurring comments about the violation of trust as a matter of course. It is not easy for her to forgive the breach. If you want to stay with her, you will be patient with her.

This does not mean that you must feel guilty about the indiscretion forever. In fact, if you allow her to constantly guilt trip you, she will not be satisfied in the new relationship you are building. Just be understanding.

Finally, you need to put a positive spin on the incident. Treat it as an opportunity for both of you to grow as individuals and for the relationship to mature. Just as a bone grows stronger at the place it has been broken, a relationship can improve after an affair.

Restoring trust in a relationship takes time. It requires that you change both your attitudes and actions. But it is possible to heal the divide and be a stronger couple as a result.




More tips and advices in The Magic Of Making Up

Sunday, 9 August 2009

How To Survive A Painful Breakup With Guy - Five Steps For Moving On

Whether he dumped you or you broke up with him, letting go of someone who you had a close relationship is very difficult. There is a space in your heart as well as a space in your life that are not quickly filled with anything or anyone else. Yet, people do get over a relationship.

First, you need to let out the hurt. Know that it is okay to cry when you are trying to get over guy. Some people keep a journal of their experiences because writing about the pain helps.
One thing that I have seen some people do that is very effective is to write a long letter about the relationship to their ex boyfriend. Talk about the good times and bad. Talk about the relationship and how he hurts you. Let it all out. When you have finished the letter, burn it. That’s right. Don’t even think about sending it to your ex. Instead, let flames consume the letter. That provides excellent closure to the relationship.
Next, you have to decide that the relationship is really over. If you hold on to the thought that he will change and come back to you, you will never get over guy and move on.

Do something that symbolizes the finality of the end of the relationship. A good example of this is to exchange all of the personal property that you have of the other’s. Don’t even keep the oversized t-shirt of his that is so comfortable for sleeping in. And, if there are things to minor to exchange (like a toothbrush), throw them away. Clear your place of all of his things. It is a way of clearing him from your life.

You need to depend on your friends through this time. Until you meet your husband, guys will come and go, but your girlfriends are forever. If you have been in a hot and heavy relationship, you may have inadvertently ignored your friends for a time. Not only will your girls help you get over guy, but reconnecting will be good for your social life.

Also, your girlfriends will have had similar experiences to your break up. Sharing their pain will help you understand that, however bad the hurt you are experiencing, others have survived and you will too.

You will probably have extra time on your hands now that you have broken up. You used to spend a lot of time with your ex. Use this time productively to get over guy. Go to the gym and get your body in shape. Take up a new hobby.

One of the best things you can do during this period is to join a group or a class. Not only does a class take up the time you would have spent with your ex, but it also introduces you to a new circle of friends.

And, that brings me to my last point, when you want to get over guy, the best thing you can do is move on. Between your old friends, the new friends you make in your class or hobby, and the activities you do to fill up your time, you will emerge as a new person.


You can find out more on how to survive a painful breakup in The Magic Of Making Up

Wednesday, 29 July 2009

VIDEO - How To Survive Break-Up

Psychologist Dr. Greg Cason explains the do's and don'ts for breaking up . To find out more CLICK HERE

Saturday, 18 July 2009

Why Is My Girlfriend Breaking Up With Me? - Three Major Reasons

Having your girlfriend breaking up with you is one of the most painful thing that there is to have happen when you are a young man. It doesn't get any easier as you get older. The pain feels a bit different when you are young and your way of handling it for sure is different but ultimately it's all the same. If you are going through a heartbreak like this and are upset that “my girlfriend is breaking up with me” the answer is going to be one of three things, it's you, it's her, or it's someone else.

It's You

Honestly, there may just be somethings about you that drive her nuts and not in a good way. What is it? What do you do that would cause her to want to leave you? Most likely it is something that you know full well about. It could be something that you don't think is a big deal that might actually be kind of fun but that bothers her in a big way. Whatever it is that bothers her, stop it. You have to decide what is more important. If it is something that you have a problem with or that she things you have a problem with, give her the courtesy of at least getting it checked out. Try to make a concerted effort to get it handled.

It's Her

She may be going through something that is just driving the two of you apart. There are many reasons for this. The best thing that you can do is to try and keep things as normal as possible. While she is sorting things out, she needs a little bit of space. Don't pretend that there is nothing wrong but also make an issue of it. It may be that you do have to let her go. If she comes back, be healthy. If she doesn't come back then respect her decision. It may be a temporary situation so don't give up faith while you are worrying about “my girlfriend breaking up with me.”

It's Someone Else

It's sad but there are times when someone else comes into the picture and is often the reason for girlfriend breaking up. There is really nothing that you can do about it to change things. You can't force someone to change their minds again. You don't have to like it but don't make the situation worse by acting out on any feelings of violence. If you are able to show restraint then you will show that maybe she is making a mistake. Truth is, though, if she can't stay faithful to you then she probably can't to anyone else. In that case, you don't need her and you're better off without her.

There are some other things that are reasons why girlfriend breaking up happens but usually it falls under one of these three. While it may be incredibly difficult to go through this, you can come out the other side stronger. This will be great at helping build confidence. What will always help you is making sure that you have the right perspective when girlfriend breaking up with you happens.


Are you in pain and confused? There is a hope...