Showing posts with label save relationship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label save relationship. Show all posts

Saturday, 9 January 2010

Break Up Advice That Really Works

Break up advice is surprisingly hard to come by. The reason for this is surprising because break ups are something that almost everyone goes through at some point. Now granted, some people do find their sweetheart in elementary school, marry them as teens and then live on happily together well into their old age.

These are not people to get good break up advice from. Not that people whose longest relationship could be measured on a wristwatch are good advisors either. But even aside from these two extremes, the average person is not a good person to get relationship break up advice from.

The reason for this is that most don't really have a clue why their relationships ended or what to do about it. This isn't their fault, either. The truth is, most break ups are simply too painful to allow people to get the right kind of perspective they need. The hurt feeling and broken hearts make it too hard to see the lessons that are there to see.

The best break up advice is the advice that stops a break up dead in its tracks, or at least helps you get your ex back. Honestly, you don't need much advice if you don't want to get them back, unless you're trying to find advice on how to burn their clothes or what kind of key works best on car paint.

But if you need good break up advice, the kind that gets you back with your ex, then you're reading the right article. You may not believe that you can get your ex back, but it is possible, even if it isn't exactly easy. You will need to do some work to get back together, but it can be done.

The first step is to get some distance from the relationship. Basically, you need to get away from your ex's memory and their presence. This may seem like strange relationship break up advice when you're trying to get someone back, but it's a necessary step. You need to be able to stand back from the relationship and look at it without your emotions getting in the way, which is crucial to the next step.

The next step, in this case, being to figure out why the relationship fell apart to begin with. You can't do this if you're still broken up over it. This isn't an invitation to assign blame; you just need to be able to figure out what the problem is so you can work around it.

Once you've done both of these, it's time to start getting back into the relationship. Ask your ex to go to coffee or some other non-threatening kind of activity. Do not talk about your relationship unless they bring it up. What you're trying to do is rebuild, and you're going to need to take it slow.

After this, the best relationship break up advice you get is to treat the new relationship with your as a new relationship. You need to treat this as something brand new, not just an extension of the old relationship. If you need more relationship break up advice, there are several excellent resources available on the web, you just need to be willing to take that step to save your relationship.

Thursday, 26 November 2009

Saving The Scorpio Woman Relationship

So you’ve made up and you’re back in a Scorpio woman relationship. That the Scorpio has agreed to try again is a very good thing, because often when people under this sign end something, it’s for good. Understanding the sign and its tendencies can help you heal your Scorpio woman relationship and make it last.

Now that you’re fixing the relationship, look back at what caused the problem. Was there cheating involved? If you cheated, or she thought you were cheating, understand that in the Scorpio woman relationship the potential for jealousy is very high.

This sign is possessive and jealous by nature. It’s flattering to have someone feel that way about you, to an extent. But when it’s taken to extremes it can make the relationship very tense and the amount of trust between you can suffer.

Scorpios are one of the signs more prone to obsession than any other. So if your woman becomes obsessed with the idea that you’ll cheat again, it’s going to be a hard mountain to climb for you to convince her otherwise. You have to be willing to give it a lot of time, and deal with a lot of suspicion.

If she cheated and has seen the error of her ways, try not to be too possessive or act too jealous now. It’s all right for her to know how hurt you were and the damage that it caused. But if you mistrust everything she does now, she’ll soon decide the relationship can’t be saved, even if she wants to stay with you.

Something to keep in mind in a Scorpio woman relationship is that Scorpios don’t like to be wrong. If she thought you were perfect or that you would never do something that you did, it goes beyond her being hurt. You proved she’d made a mistake, which is never easy for a Scorpio.
Any time a Scorpio makes a mistake or is wrong about something, she’ll admit it if she sees the clear evidence. So when she makes a mistake, give her time to realize it on her own. And do your best not to prolong it or keep pointing it out. She’ll appreciate that more than you know.
When you’re making up with this sign, you might tend to tiptoe a bit. Because of Scorpio’s volatile nature, you might worry that one wrong move could lead to another break up, this time for good.

But one of the worst things that can happen in the relationship is for the Scorpio to get bored. Boredom, for some born under this sign, is often worse than things going wrong! At least when things are going wrong there’s activity and movement.

When things are plain boring, though, that can be worse to a Scorpio than when there’s lots of conflict in the air. Scorpios enjoy challenge, debate and even argument. So when you’re healing your Scorpio woman relationship, don’t be so afraid of making a mistake that you’re afraid to make any move at all.

Sunday, 13 September 2009

Simple Ideas To Save Your Relationship

Learning how to get back with your ex is important to you because they may very well be the best thing for you. You weren't ready for that relationship to end. If it was a dating relationship that ended or a marriage that for some reason turned ugly and ended in divorce, it could be that there may be a second chance. If you aren't ready to give up on that love that got away you will want to know how to get back with your ex and save your relationship.

If love was once there then the possibility for it still being there may be real. You may not be able to turn back the clock or make the mistakes disappear but you can give that love another chance to live again. If you have both been able to step back away from the mistake(s) and have been given enough time to breathe you may be able to come back together just to talk. You won't want to rush right back into it though.
There were problems that interrupted the romance. You need to make sure that you are able to move past it and have any unresolved issues resolved. How can you think about starting where you left off if where you left off was a bad place. Work through the problems. If you can't then you won't be able to get back with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend for very long.

The break up may have happened because of one event. It could have been because of that one behavior that one of you couldn't handle the other doing. Whatever the problem was you need to find out how to either accept deal with the problem or find out how it can be fixed.

If the issue was one cheating on the other, that may be hard to overcome. Trust has been broken and getting that trust back will be difficult. Overcoming a heartbreak because of that is difficult and it needs to be given both time and a reason to believe that there can be trust again. This is an area that marriage counseling or other type of couple's therapy can be helpful.

It is important not to come across as needy. You may feel desperate to get them back but this will only be seen as something that will give your ex power over you. You need to seem confident and that you are OK with yourself. The more confident you feel, the more likely they are going to be impressed with you and find you attractive once again.

Always ask yourself if this is the right thing to do. Make sure that you are going to be better off with them than you are without them. If it is only going to turn bad again then all your work trying to figure out how to get back with your ex will have been in vain.


Monday, 7 September 2009

Is Saving A Relationship Worth It

Every relationship goes through struggles but after you have been fighting for a long time to keep it alive you may ask if saving a relationship like this really worth it. You may have gone to marriage counseling and sought ways to bring back the love. You will have worked only to find that you would again start having intimacy problems of some kind. You may have experienced struggles in your dating life. You ask around for dating tips or advice and have been given some good suggestions only to find that the troubles are still there.

The struggles continue but there are some things you should think about to see if saving a relationship like the one you are in is worth the challenge. If you are thinking about getting a divorce or separating, you need to look at these things honestly and maybe get some serious relationship advice. Saving a relationship is an important thing to try and accomplish and will take a lot of work. It can also be frustrating work if the relationships not really there.

Write a list of the people you most enjoy spending time with. Is your spouse or partner on that list? Do you really enjoy spending time together? When was the last time you went out and just had fun? Is it possible for the two of you to do that? Are you content just being with them? A good relationship between two people is going to be one where they can enjoy being together or can feel content just having the person there.

Another very important thing to consider when you are deciding if this relationship is worth saving is do they make you feel like you are understood. Do you listen to your spouse? Do you feel like you are being listened to and that they understand you? Spend some time and try to see if they do.

A relationship is supposed to be a place where you can go when you need comforted. Is the relationship one that makes you feel comfort when you have gone through something bad? Is the relationship something that you constantly need comforted about? If you are looking elsewhere for comfort, there may be a problem.

If there are questions about faithfulness or infidelity, they need to be addressed. Are you able to trust them? Are they able to trust you? If you have a problem answering either one of those questions affirmatively, then you may either need some serious marriage counseling or couple's therapy.

In saving a relationship, there are many other things to consider and a decision like this should not be taken lightly. Ask hard questions and search hard for answers and then you may be able to find if saving a relationship like the one you are in is worth it.

Friday, 7 August 2009

How Can I Save My Marriage

It is depressing to see many marriages that are in turmoil, and it is especially disconcerting to see them end up as messy divorces, so you may ask how can I save my marriage? Filing for divorce is not the solution for when a marriage has hit its pushing limits. There are a number of solutions that require that both partners to be fully committed in saving the relationship that they have. The first step is counseling, which enables the couple to have a mediator in dealing with their issues.

In addition to professional services, there are a number of different things that can be done to save a marriage, it is not a complicated process and does not require much outside of both parties working towards the common goal. Below are four things that you can take to heart and utilize to "save my marriage" and improve the odds of successfully avoiding divorce.

First, know that the perfect marriage is a myth. Whenever two people are brought together, there will be problems, including the few that can grow into deal breakers in your marriage. This is a natural result of bringing two people together. Even perfect twins differ in likes and dislikes. For the marriage to succeed, the couple must learn to deal with the rough patches and overcome their problems. Seeking perfection will only destroy everything. People make mistakes, work with your partner and overcome the problems you face, and you'll realize it is possible to "save my marriage."

Second, good communication is vital, for when the communication is insufficient, the marriage is doomed to face problems. The most vital thing is to be honest with your partner. Just about every issue and problem can be solved if communication is maintained.

The third tip is to accept compromise. Many have made this an art, with good reason. The middle ground that will enable a conclusion to the conflict has to mesh with both parties and their interests before it can "save my marriage." Marriage on a whole is about compromise and knowing that there are times when your spouse will have to give and times when you have to give in order to "save my marriage."

Really, a marriage is about commitment, the fourth tip. Like a car, if it breaks down, you don't abandon the car on the side of the road. The only time you do get rid of the car is when there is no hope. Saving your marriage involves the same level of commitment and working towards making things work, if you ever have a chance to "save my marriage."

Sometimes, the damage to the marriage totals in, and no matter what you do, nothing can change it. Some issues cannot be solved, counseling cannot help. It is in these cases that divorce makes sense. Outside of these cases, divorce is not the answer. Instead, you should work with your partner to solve the issues that plague your marriage, and hopefully you will be able to say that you can "save my marriage."



For more tips read The Magic Of Making Up

Tuesday, 28 July 2009

How To Stop My Divorce

First of all, if you were the one who made the decision to end the marriage and now you wonder, "How can I stop my divorce?" you should realize that you’re in a much better position than most people trying to save their relationships. You’ll need to swallow your pride and go to your spouse with an apology. Explain that you acted hastily and that now you regret it. Explain that you no longer want the divorce, and maybe even that you never wanted it but you spoke out of anger and you were wrong.

This might seem a difficult step, but it’s necessary. Since you were the one to bring up the issue of divorce, your spouse might have started seriously considering and thinking that it’s a good idea, too. When you want to know, “How to stop my divorce,” you need to discover what your spouse thinks of the idea and make it clear that you were wrong. Unless they’ve had a lot of time and reason to decide that you were right and divorce is the best step, you can probably save the marriage just by admitting you made a mistake.

If you’re wondering, “How can I stop my divorce when I didn’t want it in the first place,” then you have your work cut out for you. You can explain, without judgment or accusations, that you think the marriage is worth saving and that you don’t want a divorce. Chances are that you’ve done this, more than once. But the way you say it can make a difference.

It’s important for you to be very mature and calm about it. That’s not always easy to do. Divorce is an emotional and painful thing. But it’s one thing to cry while explaining that you want to stay married, and entirely another to yell or dissolve into hysterics. If you scream, accuse or point fingers at your spouse, you’re giving him or her even more reason to want to get away from you. If you want to learn ‘how to stop my divorce’ you have to let go of the anger and resentment you feel toward your spouse for ever suggesting it in the first place.

You also have to be willing to work on your problems. You must agree that the relationship can’t go back to the way it was, but must change for the better. Suggest marital counseling. Explain, “I want to stop my divorce,” but make it clear you know your spouse was unhappy with the way things were, and you’re ready to make them better.



To find out more on how to stop my divorce read the excellent book "The Magic Of Making Up"